It has been 7 years since a judge granted me sole custody of little HJ.  You hear about people going through custody battles all the time.  Mine was a bit different than most.  It wasn’t a battle at all.

After talking with a lawyer, it was decided that my best course of action would be for HJ’s father to sign off on all custody.  That way, if there ever came a time where he decided he wanted to be in HJ’s life, I could have control of how that worked.

Without this agreement, he could have came forward at any time and be given 50% custody.

When I asked him to sign away all custody, he agreed without a fight.  He was relieved that is what I wanted.  It hurt that he was willing to give HJ up so easily.  I didn’t understand since he was (is) my everything.

The lawyer was amazed that he asked how quickly it could be done.

I always thought there would come a time that he would ask to meet his son.  Or even ask for a picture.  For the first few years of HJ’s life, I would let him know that I was willing to let him be involved.

The last time we talked was over 3 years ago, close to 4.  I don’t even remember what it was about.  I just know he wants nothing to do with my son.  I wonder if he ever thinks about him, wonders about him.  Part of me thinks that HJ never even crosses his mind.  I wonder if he realized he made a huge mistake, or if he still doesn’t care.


4 Thoughts on “7 Years Ago

  1. I can relate to everything in this post. There are times I just sit and wonder why someone could not acknowledge their own child and want to know whst a great little human they are! My son is almost 7 and his “father” last saw him when he was 6 months old. He lives a few blocks from us and the story just gets better but I won’t say it on here. Just always remember that you are a strong mom and HJ is so very lucky to have you!!

    • on March 29, 2016 at 10:09 am said:

      It is impossible for me to comprehend how a “parent” can do that to a child. We are lucky to have these boys, if only they knew that!

  2. Oh hunni, know just how you feel. My girls dad asked me to move out of the home we shared when I was 5 months pregnant, and I haven’t seen him since. It’s now been almost 15 years since I last saw him. I always worried that eventually he would want contact, but instead he’s gotten married an had more children and chosen to deny paternity of my daughter and his son, (different mother).

    Like you I cannot imagine not wanting to be with my kid, I don’t understand it beyond knowing that obviously he did not love me. I guess the only thing I can say is to be thankful you don’t have to deal with all the arguments and dramas that parents sharing custody have to deal with.((Big hugs))

  3. You are an amazing mother, keep up the good work!

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