Do you ever feel that parenting is a bunch of threats that you know you won’t follow through with?

“If you don’t pick up your toys, we aren’t going on our trip”

Bullshit.  You already paid for that trip.  Hotels are non-refundable.

Last night, I did the, “if you don’t apologize to your friend for hitting him over the head with a snake, he won’t want to some to your birthday party.” *not a real snake…stuffed snake*

HJ’s response was, “Good!  I don’t want him to come anymore!”

Crud, not the reaction I wanted.  I needed to go bigger. “You won’t be able to have a party AT ALL”.

Even though I already paid for the location, delivered invites, ordered a cake and purchased some favors.  Uh-huh.

Luckily, he apologized.

But what do you do if the kid doesn’t comply?  Do you follow through with those big threats?  Compromise somehow?  I feel like HJ is starting to figure out a lot of my threats are just crap.  Therefore they have turned more into, “Go to your room” as opposed to “we are no longer going to wherever cool it is that I pre-planned”.

But what do you do if the kid WANTS to go to their room?  When I would get in trouble growing up, I would willingly go to my room, I didn’t want to be anywhere near my parents who angered me so.  And HJ has proven to be much like me time and time again.  Sometimes I am saying “Get to your room!” and notice he is already doing that.

I want something so that my child truly knows what happened, and know I am trying to make him into a good person.

And while asking for advise, at what age do you tell a child, “hurry, get in the car so I am not late for work!” and they actually hurry?  I feel like kids have no sense of urgency.  HJ must think, “ok mom, after I change my socks, hug the dog, notice the tag on my shirt is too awful to wear, complain about needing a drink and then start crying when my mom urges me on more”.

2 Thoughts on “Discipline

  1. Before I had kids, I had a friend with a child whose policy was to never make a threat that you weren’t willing to follow through on. That stuck with me when I had my own two daughters. I made a point of never throwing out an empty threat in anger. This meant following through a few times and cancelling play dates with friends (even when I **really** wanted to hang out with the other moms) or changing plans that I personally wanted to keep. BUT. This was good for two things. 1. It helped me to remember to not throw around threats willy-nilly, and 2. It taught my kids very quickly that threats were followed through on. It didn’t take long for them to learn to behave when I asked them to.

    A couple of times this also meant that I threatened with…”IF YOU DON’T STOP…SOMETHING…BAD…WILL HAPPEN!” because I didn’t want to issue an empty threat, but couldn’t think up something quickly enough. lol

    Kids are smart. I saw my own sister issue empty threats to her kids constantly, and they knew that it was bull. They called her on her bluffs — constantly.

    • on October 22, 2015 at 1:19 pm said:

      I will definitely need to think through my threats…Need to make sure I really will follow through with them!

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