A year ago, I woke up excited.  I had just left my job, and had a few days off before starting my new one.  I planned on spending those days having so much fun with my boy.  The day was going to be unseasonably warm, and we had plans with a slip-n-slide.  However, when he woke up, our plans changed.

He couldn’t walk.  You may have read about it, but if not, here’s the links to Part One, Part Two and Part Three.  I feel incredibly lucky and blessed that all it was, was a scare.  However, it has definitely changed me.

Since then, I have had incredible anxiety over my little guy.  I do ok, until something/anything goes wrong.

This past weekend, I picked him up from to start our weekend.  Only, our weekend started by heading to the Urgent Care Clinic.  We ended up at the Urgent Care that we first went to last September.  Not only that, we ended up in the same examination room with the same doctor.

The last time I sat in that room listening to him, I was in tears.  He was telling me there was something on the x-ray and I needed to take him for more tests.  I remember the doctor being kind.  He offered to call HJ’s pediatrician right away.

But still.  Being back in that room last Friday brought back so many emotions of that day.  I was so worried that he has going to tell me something was wrong with HJ.  Instead, he told me to get some Benadryl.

This week, we have HJ’s follow-up at the University of Iowa Hospitals and Clinics.  We have had a number of appointments, but this is the longest we have gone since seeing the orthopedic.  I know we will go, HJ will have an x-ray, and we will have a short appointment with the doctor.

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous.  There is no reason to be.  I know that.  Every appointment, the doctor tells me it is nothing.  It is just a cyst.  But I can’t help but wish it would just disappear.

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