As a single mom, I am often told things about how strong I must be.  How others don’t know how I do it.  I smile and nod when people say things like, “Husbands gone for work, I’m a single mom this week too!”.

And you know what, I understand it all.

I am strong.  Mostly out of necessity.  I was thrown one of those curve balls that many don’t have to face alone.  Have you ever unexpectedly become pregnant?  It is scary.  For anyone.  Hell, it is scary for those who plan it.  Not only did I face that challenege head on, I did it when the one person who should have been by my side, ran away.  Leaving me to figure all the emotions and logistics on my own.

You may not know it, but you mean everything to me! -dforever-

I always laugh when people say “I don’t know how you do it”.  Did they expect me to just give up on life?  No, I did what anyone does.  I figured shit out.  And I did what I hoped would work best for my family.  I moved closer to my parents so they could help out.  And I am given the bonus of having my son grow up seeing them almost daily.  I absolutely love seeing their bond, and feel lucky my son is able to know them so well.

And how I do the rest of it?  Sometimes my life is chaotic and crazy, but for the most part, HJ and I have our little household figured out.  So yes, I might run around like a mad women once in a while, but I also manage to have a clean house (most of the time), a hot dinner, and still have time to play.  Because that is what needs to be done.

And for the comments of, “I’m a single mom this week too!”.  I really do understand.  You are use to your schedule.  You have a routine.  A routine that was built with a partner in mind.  Having that partner suddenly being gone, would throw a wrench in that plan.  I get it.


8 Thoughts on “Why Single Moms Are Strong

  1. You are far more forgiving than I am about the “temporary single mom” line some people give. I inwardly roll my eyes. Unless your husband stops paying the bills while he’s gone, etc…, then it’s not even a temporary single mom status.

    • on May 7, 2014 at 9:01 pm said:

      Ah yes, I totally get annoyed at times. But I also see how drastically not having a second pair of hands could be. We are just that awesome that we don’t need help 🙂

  2. I get the same exact comments all of the time, as well. And, I have to admit, I have tinges of jealousy with gals who have good husbands, but it’s fleeting. 🙂 I feel pretty lucky at this point in my life. I don’t live near my folks, but I do have a lot of really great friends and a steady place of employment that has bent the rules for me several times allowing me to bring my daughter to work out of necessity, or allowed me time off when things go on in her school, she’s sick, etc. And, I’m grateful I have only one child instead of 2 or more to parent on my own, as I know that it is so much harder the more mouths there are to feed. I planned my pregnancy, I was married, and I wanted it to stay that way…but, we certainly do not always get what we want. And, like you said, what do folks think that we will do? Not give up, not give in, but trek along the path we are now given and figure it all out. I’m proud to be in the SWM club, as we are stronger, and we persevere. 🙂 XOXO-Kasey

    • on May 7, 2014 at 9:02 pm said:

      That is awesome your work is so understanding! SWM Club, love it!

  3. This is truly a great post <3 I've gotten the "I don't know how you do it" when it comes to having twins in which I respond "I kind of just do." As I'm in the process of a divorce now too, it's easy to feel frustrated and like I'm not doing enough but we do need that reminder that we ARE.

    • on May 7, 2014 at 9:05 pm said:

      I always seem to forget to have adult time, and I have been trying to be better about squeezing in my own social life. Hopefully, you’ll be able to figure out a schedule/plan that fits with your new life as a single mom. I feel like routine has really helped me feel less stressed 🙂

  4. Yes! We are strong and we do just figure it out. I mean really what else would we do lol

  5. Great post Kristin! I have to agree with Lindsay, temporary “single mums” still have no idea. It’s just not the same thing, but after 12 years of being a single mum, I’ve learned that it’s best to let them think they do.

    Yes I also get the “I don’t know how you do it”, and I usually reply with “you do what you have to”. I don’t think being a single parent is something anyone wants to be, but honestly, being one has made me a much stronger person than I ever thought I could be, and now I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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