When 2014 kicked off, I told myself I wasn’t dating anymore. I want to be able to focus on myself this year. So far, I have done well at that. I have lost weight, became healthier, figured out a way to manage our daily life. And guess what? No man needed.
Since having a child, I have dated a few people. There was B, when HJ was under a year. He was dull, which was perfect for me at that moment. He never wanted to do anything, and I never wanted to leave the house. He only met HJ twice, I didn’t want them to have a bond, so I waited a long time.
From that, I learned I shouldn’t try to hide what my life is really like. HJ is my life, and I should have introduced him to that sooner. He also had just gotten out of a 4 year relationship. Like JUST. She still hadn’t moved all of her (or her son’s) stuff out of their house. Eeks.
After that, I went on dates here and there, but nothing serious until fall of 2012. Then, I dated A. After a few months, he started to push away his relationship with HJ. It ended up being really hard to balance this relationship. A only wanted to be with me if HJ was not. HJ got upset whenever he came around, because he knew that meant I was leaving. Also, this guy was a jerk. I should have walked out on him months before I did. But I was confused by him being nice when sober and awful when drinking. From this, I know I have learned that I can’t expect a guy just to bond instantly with HJ. Any relationship is work, I will just have to find someone who is ok with working on it.
It took a handful of months before I decided to give the dating thing another go, and I met this guy. So, yeah.
In December, I went on a date with a guy and was SO bored. It was awful. All I wanted to do was get home. And that’s when it hit me.
Dating is just not worth it. I feel like it is such a hassle. I get nervous, get all dolled up, find someone to watch HJ and then sit there and think, “I’m wasting a night out on this?!?!”.
No thank you.
I don’t have nights away from my son often, but when I do, I want it to be fun. You know who I have fun with? My friends! You know who I don’t have fun with? Random, boring men.