My “biggest” resolution of the year was to get hot, er, healthy.  My weight has fluctuated a lot in the last few years.

You know those moms that pop out a baby, and within weeks it looks like there is no way they just gave birth?  I was totally that mom.  Ugh, I know.  Not only did I lose all the baby weight within a few weeks, I then lost an additional 6 pounds with breastfeeding.

My first casual day at work, I learned all my jeans were way too big.  I am sure I was just devastated.  Or I danced around the room.

Shortly after going back to work, we discovered HJ had a dairy allergy.  This meant cutting out all casein and whey products in my diet and going dairy free.  You know what this meant?  I lost an additional 11 pounds.

Right, so about 4 months after giving birth, I weighed 17 pounds LESS than my pre-pregnancy weight and had huge boobs.

Current me hates that skinny bitch.

I weighed less than I did in high school.  And was barely working out.  It was a dream.  But like all dreams, it came to an end.  Eventually my love of cheese won over and HJ grew up and stop breast-feeding.  I figured the weight would come right back on, but it came back on slowly.  And steadily.  And then more quickly.

My size 00 jeans (seriously, I hate that skinny bitch) were packed away and my pre-pregnancy 2 jeans fit perfect.  Granted, I no longer had a mini-bikini body, but I still looked pretty damn good.

And then those jeans got packed away.

And one day, I thought I should try some of those pre-prego jeans on, and they got stuck at my knees.  And I realize, I let myself go.  I actually weigh myself and look at the BMI chart at the gym.

For the first time in my life I am considered overweight.

That sentence was really hard to type.  Out there for everyone to see.

I knew it by looking at myself, but figured it couldn’t happen to me, right?  I still work out.  I know what I should be doing to stay in the “normal” range, but somehow, my body crept past it.

So, I mere 3 years ago, I was 17 pounds UNDER my pre-pregnancy weight.  Today, I am 20 pounds OVER my pre-pregnancy weight.  That is a fluctuation of 37 pounds in 3 years.  Are you freaking kidding me?

I have been wanting to do something about it for the past year, but I was embarrassed.  Too proud to admit I let myself go like this.  So here it all is, for you to all see.

Since April, I gained 10 pounds.  That is ridiculous.  I am over weight.

When I tell friends this, they say there is no way.  I guess that makes me feel a bit better, maybe I am hiding it well, but then there is proof…

PicMonkey Collage

I use to think I was cute.  Now, I hate looking in the mirror.  Trying on clothes is a disaster, and I feel like nothing fit rights.  I miss trying on clothes and having everything look nice, because I was in shape.  I miss having confidence and not cringing when I see photos or catch a glimpse in a mirror.

I am not saying I want to be back to my super skinny  00 days, I have set my goal weight reasonable.  My goal weight is 3 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight (and pre-baby me could eat Mexican every night and not gain a pound).

When January started, I weighed 20 pounds more than my pre-pregnancy body.  To put this in perspective, I gained 23 pounds while pregnant.  Basically, I weigh the same as 9 pound pregnant me.  That is disgusting.  I feel disgusting.

I am finally being serious about losing weight, and am doing more than just working out.  I have been tracking my calories for a  week, and have been able to stay under 1,200 every day.  I kicked off 2014 with the Advocare 10-Day cleanse, and am committed to being healthier this year.

My goal is to lose 17 pounds this year.  So far, I am down 3 and a half pounds.

The last few times I tried to lose weight and get back in shape, I feel like I kept it to myself.  This time, I shared it.  It is helping me to hold myself accountable.  Whenever I have wanted to skip counting a few calories or shirt myself on a workout, I remind myself that I am really only cheating myself.  No one else really cares if I lose a few pounds, but I do.  Here’s to being healthy this year!

6 Thoughts on “Getting Healthy (January’s Resolution)

  1. Love how honest you are! Good for you, you can do it!!

  2. I’m with you! I am currently breastfeeding a little dude, so that’s helpful, but I need to get back into some healthy habits or, come his weaning, I will back peddle madly. …that, and I have some baby weight that really needs to go and some shape to get back into.

    Good luck and have fun! 🙂 Keep us posted.

  3. Awesome Kristin! For the first time in my life….my doctor told me I needed to lose weight the other day….I was devastated! Like you I lost all my weight after Monkey was born, it’s kinda just crept on over the years…..I’m starting my healthier lifestyle on Monday….I’m actually excited!

  4. You are a beauty Kristin but yay for you for taking care of yourself with a new healthy lifestyle! 🙂

  5. I feel like you just wrote exactly what has happened to me (except I’ve never been a size 2!) 😉 I hate being away from Aubrey all day at work and can’t seem to bring myself to leave her at daycare longer so I can work out. That is my biggest hurdle .. just making the time to do it!

  6. Well first- you are cute!
    And I am right there with ya! I was that skinny bitch after pregnancy, too! lol a 0 and clothes falling off me, not really working out, not trying to lose weight. Just a flat stomach all on its own! (seriously, I want that back, but with some muscle tone, too). I’ve gained some weight back and am at about what I was pre-pregnancy (although still two sizes smaller and totally confused about those stats but i’ll take it). Not bad, and my BMI and body fat is just fine, but I don’t want my weight to keep creeping up. I’m rooting for you this year! I know you’ll rock it!

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