I know that preschool is about to start and you are extremely busy, but I need to share a few things with you. My son, HJ is extremely special. I know, I know, you hear that about every kid. But my kid is different. You see, this kid, my sweet HJ, is my everything. I can’t describe how much joy he has brought to my life. Every day, I thank God that I was chosen to be his mother.
I am incredibly nervous to send him to school. I am an over-paranoid and anxious mom. I fear he won’t get any attention, I fear he will get lost in the chaos. I worry he will be a push-over and won’t stand up for himself. I am hoping he will stand up for himself and his friends. I am scared he will be bullied and at the same time, terrified he will make fun of someone else.
I hope I have taught him right from wrong. I pray that he remembers his manners. I want everyone to like him. I want him to be accepting of everyone. I want him to try new things, but be wary of danger. I am worried he will be behind the class. I am worried he will be shy, but I also am worried he will be wild.
I want you to know that I can never get him to eat breakfast. This makes me worried he will be hungry, please don’t think I am a bad mom. I want you to know no matter how many times he says, “me not tired” that always means he is exhausted. If he wants to lay down, he will tilt his head to the side and start twisting his hair with his finger. He will never admit he needs to rest. Ever.
He has an incredible imagination. One that I hope never fades. We can be playing dragons one minute, and be a super hero the next. By the way, his super-hero alter-ego is “Super HJ”.
I am anxious for things involving family. Our family is small, it’s just HJ and me. I am worried he will get picked on or questioned as to why he doesn’t have a father. I have explained that all families are different. I hope you will too. This is also why I said he is my everything. He is literally the only person I have. Please, take good care of him.
HJ has always mixed up the usage of “me/I” and “am/are/is”. I haven’t corrected it because I think it’s cute. I know you will fix it and I am okay with that, just know I didn’t do it yet so I could hold onto a piece of my baby who is growing up to quickly.
Unfortunately, our society is one where parents fear someone coming into their child’s school. I know you have no control over this and I hate I can’t get this fear out of my head. I pray my child is always safe.
I want my child to love learning, so I don’t want to push to hard. At the same time, I want to make sure he is learning all he needs to. I fear not being able to find an even balance.
HJ loves playing with friends. He likes to go along with the crowd. I hope he realizes not to follow the crowd with everything they do. And, every now and then, to forge his own path.
He loves helping, and will gladly do things he is asked of. I hope this is not taken advantage of.
I am so worried about being a “helicopter parent”. I will do my best to stay out-of-the-way. I hope this doesn’t make me appear distant. I want to hear every day what he did, what he worked on, what he ate, if he napped, etc., but I will refrain (most of the time). I worry that I won’t be involved enough. I will want to volunteer for everything, but I know that is not possible with my work schedule. I hope this doesn’t make me a bad mom.
When I first moved to town, a mother asked me what my husband did for a living. When I told her I wasn’t married, she looked me up and down and walked away with a disgusted look on her face. I am absolutely terrified that the parents will think poorly of me. I am more worried that if an adult acts that way, how will a child react to my son when being told he doesn’t have a dad? I don’t want my child to be rejected. He has had enough of that in his short, little life already.
While I am looking forward to this new chapter in our lives, I am also nervous. I just want him to love his school, and I want everyone there to love him. Show him love, teach him kindness and be a good role model for him. Help him learn to love school. Please, please take good care of my baby.
-A worried, over-anxious mom