“Never make someone a priority while allowing yourself to be their option”.
“If it is important to you, you will find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse.”
These two quotes had been running through my mind over and over the last month.
You may remember the ex telling me he wanted to try to make things work. The past month, I kept letting the excuses as to why he couldn’t hang out slide by. Finally, I had enough of being strung along. I was tired of feeling like he was just saying things to keep me interested in case he changed his mind. I felt like he had put me on the back burner while running about his life just as before.
While discussing his weekend plans the other day, I realized they were jammed packed of things he said were his “priorities”. I did not make the cut, yet again. I let him know that it hurt. That he was the one saying he wanted to hang out to see where things were, yet never had time to hang out. He was the one who said he wanted to make it work, when really, he just wanted time to decide. I felt like I was put in some sort of relationship limbo. That he expected me to just sit there and wait for him to make up his mind.
I told him, if he really wanted to hang out, he would make time. If he really wanted to be in HJ’s life as well as my own, he would prove it. But day after day, the excuses came.
And the only thing that was being proved is that he hadn’t changed one bit.
I told him I was done. I was tired of being played a fool. I was over it.
When it was over, I was surprised at how much it didn’t bother me. I was almost relieved. Finally, that baggage is gone. I don’t have to anxiously wait at the phone hoping he will want to see me. Hoping he will call to say hi. Because I don’t deserve that. I deserve better. And with that, I felt lighter. Happier.