“Never make someone a priority while allowing yourself to be their option”.

“If it is important to you, you will find a way.  If not, you’ll find an excuse.”

These two quotes had been running through my mind over and over the last month.

You may remember the ex telling me he wanted to try to make things work.  The past month, I kept letting the excuses as to why he couldn’t hang out slide by.  Finally, I had enough of being strung along.  I was tired of feeling like he was just saying things to keep me interested in case he changed his mind.  I felt like he had put me on the back burner while running about his life just as before.

While discussing his weekend plans the other day, I realized they were jammed packed of things he said were his “priorities”.  I did not make the cut, yet again.  I let him know that it hurt.  That he was the one saying he wanted to hang out to see where things were, yet never had time to hang out.  He was the one who said he wanted to make it work, when really, he just wanted time to decide.  I felt like I was put in some sort of relationship limbo.  That he expected me to just sit there and wait for him to make up his mind.

I told him, if he really wanted to hang out, he would make time.  If he really wanted to be in HJ’s life as well as my own, he would prove it.  But day after day, the excuses came.

And the only thing that was being proved is that he hadn’t changed one bit.

I told him I was done.  I was tired of being played a fool.  I was over it.

When it was over, I was surprised at how much it didn’t bother me.  I was almost relieved.  Finally, that baggage is gone.  I don’t have to anxiously wait at the phone hoping he will want to see me.  Hoping he will call to say hi.  Because I don’t deserve that.  I deserve better.  And with that, I felt lighter.  Happier.


10 Thoughts on “the end.

  1. Katie on June 10, 2013 at 8:35 am said:

    Amen sista!! 🙂 you rock..end of story. Totally his loss!

  2. And that’s exactly what you [and HJ] deserve – better!

  3. Sherri on June 11, 2013 at 12:27 pm said:

    You are not the first person to hold on to someone that isn’t good for you longer than you should. You certainly won’t be the last either. It does feel good when you realize it was ok to let it go doesn’t it.

    • sliceofmudpie@gmail.com on June 11, 2013 at 1:56 pm said:

      It does feel good! I mean, it still sucks, but not as bad as it did the first time 🙂

  4. I so look forward to reading your post when they hit my inbox!!! As a foilow single mama, you are such an inspiration. You and HJ totally deserve better than someone making you wait around!! I am currently in limbo with my current relationship also…there’s days that it just doesn’t seem like it’s worth it and then there are days that it’s great!! Why can’t life just be easy 🙂

    • sliceofmudpie@gmail.com on June 11, 2013 at 1:58 pm said:

      Don’t you wonder why this stuff comes so easily to others? I hope when I finally meet “the one” that it is easy and I am not wondering if I should let go or hold on…that I will just know!

  5. Yay! So happy to hear you say this! When I read he was trying to be better and got you the Mother’s Day card, I was thinking, “uh oh, hope she kicks him to the curb sooner than later and doesn’t get caught up in the fantasy of his promising words” lol Good for you, friend, for seeing the reality. It’s so easy to get caught up in charming words and hopeful futures. You did the right thing! 🙂

    • sliceofmudpie@gmail.com on June 11, 2013 at 1:59 pm said:

      I know. I went against my own rule of going back to an ex. We first broke up for really good reasons, but yes, I was hopeful. Ugh, damn men.

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