Wow, it has been a while since I last updated you all on where things stand with Child Support.  And no, I am not staying quiet on it for a change, it’s just that not much has changed.

When I last updated you, I had “heard” that HJ’s father sperm donor was going to request an order for modification.  About a month ago, I finally received a notification from Child Support Recovery that a request for modification was entered.  In the packet, it included all the forms I needed to fill out so they can set an amount.

This includes: pay-stubs, insurance amounts, daycare receipts, etc.  Apparently all of this is taken into consideration, you know, if the other person was actually working.  Side note: Not going to lie here, I actually figured out that I would be able to have the same life-style if I had no job and collected government benefits(because I wouldn’t pay for daycare and the state would provide insurance among other things), no wonder people find it hard to get out of the system.  That really ticked me off.

If you do not fill out the forms, they base it on the state average amount.  It doesn’t say this, however, I know this, because when we first had this done, daddy dearest was making good money.  He didn’t turn in the forms and his amount was set on the average income of all other deadbeats.  Yup, not the average salary in the state, the average for people that aren’t willingly paying child support.  The average salary was set at $18,000 for him.

However, $18,000 is significantly more than what he is making now.  Because now, his fiance and him have decided he would be a stay at home parent for their 2 daughters.

Because of that fact, I called the child support office to voice my concern.  My case worker told me that since his income will show as $0, the support amount will be $10/month.  When I receive the paperwork with that amount, I can dispute it.  This will take an additional 60 days.  The case will be reviewed.  The review will show that he still isn’t making any money, and the amount will again be set at $10.  I can then dispute it again, and it will go to court.  Which we all know how fast the court system works…

So, we will have to go to court.  This presents a few problems:

1. It’s expensive

2. Neither of us live in the city our case was established in (granted, I can drive there, but he would have to fly)

3. To go to court, I feel it is best to have a lawyer

Those 3 things led to me meeting with a lawyer.  Luckily, he is just going to be a pretty face in court and I will only have to pay him for that part (thank God for friends).  I met with him, and he said once I receive a letter showing the “new amount”, he will ask to have my case transferred locally.  The local office handles a lot fewer cases, so it is easier to get things done.  And then I won’t have to travel for the court hearing.  Of course, then the father will know what city we live in.

The lawyer agreed that the amount will be set to $10/month.  But said the court will change that, because $10/month is what people in prison are required to pay.  Yup, people in prison.  Not stay at home dads.  Not people whose families decided they had enough of an income that they no longer had to work.

Unfortunately, the best the court will do is require him to pay what a person making minimum wage would have to pay.   I am hoping that the court will also require a set amount of back-owed support to be paid.  It is currently close to $20,000.  I don’t think it is fair that they will just ignore that amount and hope that the court will agree with me.

Has anyone had to go in front of a judge for child support?  Were you able to get an arrangement on back-owed support?


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8 Thoughts on “Update On Child Support

  1. Wow, I’ve never in my life heard of child support in the amount of $10 per month. That isn’t even enough to cover a Starbucks habit, let alone support a child’s wellbeing! That is outrageous! I went on the US government web site to look up what I should be receiving in support from my daughter’s father, as initially I felt bad for him because when we divorced he was on disability, and I only asked for $150 per month. I found out that legally he should have been paying a whole heck of a lot more, and it was based on how many children we had (one), not on his income, so I’m totally surprised by the $10/month. As soon as I found out how much he should have been paying I forwarded the calculations to him, and he willingly agreed to increase the amount to avoid going to court. I certainly wish you all the best with this battle. It’s awful that men don’t want to take responsibility for their own kids!

    • on May 24, 2013 at 9:00 am said:

      The lawyer said the $10/month is typically only used for prisoners, so it should be switched easily. Can you send me the link you used? I have searched, but always get weird things. Hopefully the court views it as he has been out of work for to long to still claim he can’t find a job.

  2. aprilsclblog on May 23, 2013 at 7:31 am said:

    I understand how frustrating this situation can be – I was in your son’s shoes once. I hope for your own sake and that of your son that you will stop posting this stuff online. Some day he will find it. Or the court will. That “sperm donor” is someone you chose to sleep with at some point. And will always be your son’s father. And whether he is a great dad or a crappy one – your son will always be conflicted about his feelings for his father and it will always be painful for him. My brothers and step-brothers and I know this all too well. Voicing all of this to the world will only hurt your son more and can very possibly hurt your court case. I hope you can find peace with the situation.

    • on May 23, 2013 at 8:39 am said:

      Thanks for writing! I actually really debated writing this post. When I first started the blog, so few people read it, that out was a great way for me to vent, share my concerns and find ppl in similar situations that I could talk to. Part of me still wants that connection, but part of it does scare me now that more ppl are reading. You are right, there are other ways I can connect with those readers.

  3. I wouldn’t worry about that. Yes you’re venting but you are not bad mouthing anyone and are only voicing true facts. I write stuff in my blog as well that sometimes I wonder about but it’s a way to connect to other single moms reading and be a support for each other. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that if you’re keeping it classy and fairly civil. (which you are completely) I’m sorry you have to deal with this…the system is crazy and is no help sometimes. That’s crazy though I’ve never heard of only $10 a month!

    • on May 24, 2013 at 9:03 am said:

      Thank you! I have to admit, I was greatly concerned about how I was being viewed after that comment. I actually went through and read lots of old posts, trying to decide if I should delete them. If anything, I might go in and edit a few things. But for the most part, I am stating the facts. I want other people who need help to see that they aren’t alone. I didn’t put anything in there that I wouldn’t whine about to a judge. And as far as HJ, he has never met his father, so I don’t feel like me putting this stuff on the internet will make him say something like, “But mom, he is a good guy!” because he has no idea who his father is.

  4. Hun, I seriously understand. I personally don’t have to claim child support due to a special exemption I was given many years ago. I do live on government benefits, which some people might be offended by, and the government here in Australia is trying to change, but honestly, if I had to pay for after school care, holiday care etc we would be worse off financially than we are now and my girl would never see me. Honestly I don’t think you’re hurting your son by talking about it as long as you are speaking the absolute truth. I’ve never spoken badly of my daughters “sperm donor” to her or anyone else, but I have always told her the truth about him, and she is fine.

    It’s weird how so many people think we know someones going to be a deadbeat dad when we’re with them…..seriously I had no idea that my daughters father would leave me, until he did… I angry about that….hell yeah, but more so for my daughter…..sometimes you just NEED to vent, and friends with partners just don’t understand.

  5. on May 24, 2013 at 9:06 am said:

    Thank you! Yes, he will always be my son’s biological father, but that doesn’t mean he will ever be his dad. I might need to re-think wording on a few things so I don’t ruffle feathers, but for the most part, I am just stating how the child support system is working. I suppose if I want to keep it classy, I shouldn’t call him a sperm-donor, but it’s I cringe whenever I say “his father”, becuase he ISN’T a father to my son.

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