Ugh.  The never-ending, on-going cycle of child support frustrations.Here is what recently happened…

HJ’s dad told me he submitted a new modification order.  Since he is not working, receiving no benefits/assistance, and has had 2 other kids since our original order was put in place 2 years ago, he will probably get his child support lowered to about $10/month.

Are you frikken kidding me?

When he told me this, I remained calm.  What I wanted to say was, “you just bought your girlfriend a frikken diamond engagement ring.  You are going on a vacation in a week.  Your Christmas tree was piled high with presents.”

What I really said was, “have you found a job yet?”

He said no, and that he isn’t looking.  His fiance and him have decided he will stay home with the kids while she works.

But the thing is, he still has another child to think about.  That is fine and dandy that they can afford to have him stay at home, but they should also be able to provide the support for his other child.  AmIRight??

Naturally, I was frustrated.  I called the child support office right away.  And like always, the lovely lady who is my contact, explained to me this…

She said as now, there is no modification order in her hands, so he still owes me the previous set amount.  Also, in May, he had said he would start paying a minimum of $200/month, which has never been received.  Meaning, his license has been sanctioned in the state of Iowa.

Great, he doesn’t live in Iowa.

The state of Nevada has 30 days left to acknowledge that they received our order.  Once that happens, his license should also be sanctioned there.

If a modification order does get submitted by him, it is likely the amount would be changed to the $10.  On one hand, that is $10/month then I am getting now.  On the other hand, WTF.  $10 does not help raise a child.  That doesn’t even cover 1/3 of a day of daycare!However, it takes a minimum of 180 days to put a modification order in place if both parties agree to it.  If I don’t agree and want to dispute it, it will take much, much longer (gotta love how damn slow the system is), meaning he will still owe me the larger amount until the judge makes it official.

But a judge will also look at the fact that he has 2 other kids to support.  And no income.  So either way, the amount is going to go way, way down.

The state of Iowa does not seek work orders, meaning that even if he owes support, they won’t ask him to get a job.  He can stay at home raising his daughters, while his fiance makes more than enough money to support them all.  While I am struggling to make ends meet for his son.

13 Thoughts on “More Child Support Frustrations

  1. Ugh. Yuck. Boo. No good. I am so glad to not be dealing with this! Once he’s married, though, won’t her income count, too? I thought that was how it worked. So you’d then be getting child support based on their household income, not just his non-income. Or is that not right?
    Best of luck to you. It sucks all around.

  2. Tarsha on January 15, 2013 at 9:53 am said:

    He should be ashamed of himself. $10? Seriously? What real man would even consider offering that to support their child??? He is officially put into the category of all the other losers out there not supporting children they helped bring into this world. That offer alone is insulting! As for his fiance, I can’t even begin to understand the woman that would want to have kids with and marry a man who does not want to or even attempt to provide more support for a previous child, she could easily one day be in your shoes. She may one day be in your shoes. Right now she sounds like a meal ticket, and he’ll be living a steak and champagne lifestyle on her dime. We should wish her luck with that *sarcasticly of course* but don’t worry, karma will handle what the system won’t. Good luck to you.

  3. What constitutes a substantial change in circumstances? In Minnesota the law is very clear,In terms of income, a 20% change will must occur in order for the change be considered substantial. If the parent paying support wants to decrease the amount of child support owed because of a 20% decrease in income, the decrease in income must not be the fault of that parent. If you are in this position, you should talk to an attorney about seeking modification of the support order sooner rather than later, because the general rule is that modification of child support may only be made retroactive to the date of service of a motion—that is, the start of court proceedings for modification. To m make matters even more confusing this change in income must also cause a $75 increase or decrease in the amount of child support paid.

    • I know he makes 20% less, since he went from working ft to not working at all. Why don’t they consider the entire household income though? I would contact an attorney if I had the money too!

  4. If he gets married though, YOU put in an order to review the finances and then they get to include the wife’s income in figuring out child support. And actually if he is living with her, that means that she shares the expenses and so he should be accountable for something more than $10. Get a lawyer.

    • The CS rep. told me her finances would never be included, is that not true? Would they do income withholding on her?

      • If the child support order originates in Iowa:


        Sections 598.21C and D of the Iowa Code permit a court to modify a child support order in the future if either parent has experienced a “substantial change of circumstances.” If a parent requests modification, the court will review both parents’ circumstances to determine if any of the following has occurred. A substantial change may exist if either parent got remarried, if either parent experienced a change in employment or income, if either parent developed a mental or physical health condition, if either parent received an inheritance or other significant financial windfall, or if the child’s medical, educational, childcare or extracurricular needs have changed, requiring increased support.

        Read more: How Is Child Support Determined in Iowa? |

      • Basically the way it usually works is her income counts as reducing his expenses. I don’t know if they’d get her income but if he gets things like tax refunds or whatever, they should be able to have access to that. In a case like yours, you really need a lawyer.

        • Thanks for all the info! I might actually be able to afford a lawyer if he paid his support, damn catch 22’s. Once I know he is married, I will definitely have to talk to someone.

  5. Love your posts – I’m in Colorado and I know that here if you lose your job you are most certainly required to still pay your court ordered child support. My ex tried to get child support removed when he lost his job and was told that until he had gone a reasonable time without a job and show that there was no comparable jobs out there for him to apply for – he had to continue paying that set amount. They will not take his current income of $0 to base his responsibility when calculating child support since it is a choice to not work. The courts don’t forgive a father’s financial responsibility just because he decides to quit working. I can’t imagine that Iowa would be too different from Colorado on that. A fantastic service is the Child Support Registry (is that the child support office that you referred to?). If you haven’t looked into it, you should. It takes all your stress away from trying to collect. They track his payments and go after him when there isn’t a payment made. The cost to you $25. I looked and Iowa has the same program as Colorado – highly recommend it!

  6. Pingback: Update On Child Support | A Slice of Mudpie

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