Can you tell I was not quite sure how to title this post? That is because last Monday night was one of those ridiculously crazy nights. My child didn’t even stop JUMPING on the bed until 11pm. He was nuts. Here is how it all went down…
On Monday nights, my mom (Nana) usually comes to our house to watch HJ while I go to a work out class. Last Monday, I was thinking of all the things on my to-do list and did NOT want to go. But I did. I got ready, drove to class started walking in the building, and was stopped by the instructor informing me class was cancelled. I may have “WOOHOO’ed”, she may have given me a strange glance.
I skipped back to my car making a mental list of everything I needed at Target (wipes, diapers, crayons, etc.). I called Nana to tell her my change of plans. She answered saying, “Um, I did something.”
Now what the hell does that mean?
“I told HJ if he gets rid of his binkys, he can get a fish.”
We have tried every tactic in the book to get rid of the b’s (yes, they were called b’s at our house). Nothing worked. I cut of the tip, he found more. We gave it to a new baby, he had stashed others under his bed. We went to the circus and got an elephant, he flipped sh*t.
Recently, I had come to terms with the fact that he might have a b at his high school graduation. I was cool with that.
But apparently, he was all about this fish. So I ran home and we searched high and low for every binky in the house and put them in a bag. They got in the car to HJ chattering away about getting a fish named shark and it was going to be HUGE! Nana and HJ then brought the 5 b’s down the road to Wal-Mart. I stayed home and took the dog on a jog (ok, a walk, don’t judge).
Then my little monkey pulled in the driveway with the biggest grin on his face.
Apparently he handed his bag of binkys over to the Wal-Mart lady without hesitating. The lady hesitated though. She asked Nana if she would like them back. Nana followed my instructions of “NO, GET RID OF THEM!”
HJ was so excited! He was bouncing up and down holding the fish (poor lil fish). We brought him inside to get him all set up.
We officially named him Binky the Shark. That way when HJ said “Where’s my b?” I could say “Oh, your fish?” (it has worked!)
The fish bowl also has a light, so we decided to put it on his nightstand to help keep the monsters away.
HJ thanked Nana for his new fish and sat on his bed watching Binky the Shark for a long time. I curled up next to him to tell him how proud of him I was and how he is becoming such a big boy.
And then the fire alarms started BLARING.
In our house, the fire alarms are all connected. If one goes off, they all go off. There is also a lady’s voice yelling “FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!”
HJ starts jumping on the bed screaming, the dog is running around barking and I am trying to figure out what the hell is going on.
I run around the house looking for smoke, not seeing or smelling anything, but the alarms WON’T STOP. I decide its best to get everyone out of the house just in case…and because I want HJ to know if he hears that, to get outside.
But then, I can’t find HJ. Or the dog. They got scared and both hid.
I finally tracked them down at totally opposite sides of the house. At this time, I determined we need to work on emergency evacuation plans. If this had been an actual fire, we would have been doomed. It took us almost 10 minutes to get outside.
Unsure of what to do, I left HJ and the dog with the neighbor and walked back in the house. Because that’s what you should do in case of a fire, right?
Then I called 911. I told them there was no smoke, but they wanted to send a truck out just in case.
Not only did they send out 1 fire truck, they sent out 3. Plus 2 cop cars. Sirens blaring.
You want to know how to make sure your child is not tired right before bedtime? Call in fire trucks.
He was doing somersaults and jumping jacks and running laps and pretending to fall down and yelling at trucks and firefighters.
And I am hoping my house isn’t too messy as 3 hot firefighters start walking through my house. The rest of the firefighters decided to stand outside and laugh at my crazy son and panicked dog. Neighbors were running over. And texting. And calling.
After about 30 minutes, they determined it was an electrical issue. And would probably happen again.
By this town, every kid in the neighborhood was in our yard and they all wanted to see Binky the Shark…so everyone came inside.
Finally, about 9:30, everyone was gone. I was trying to get HJ to calm down, but we were both pretty wired.
At 11, I finally got him to lay down in bed. I figured he must be exhausted. He did not mention the binky at all. And was excited about his fish tank as a nightlight. I kissed him goodnight and shut his door.
Then I heard “MOM!”
I peeked my head back in.
“BINKY THE SHARK IS LOOKING AT ME! AHH!”
We strategically placed a stuffed animal so that Binky the Shark could no longer “stare” at HJ, and he finally crashed.
Also, he had buyer’s remorse.