I am deathly afraid of spiders.  And snakes.  And creepy clowns.  And bats.

Any encounter with one of those 4 will give me nightmares.  In fact, I am probably going to have one tonight just for talking about them.

Yesterday, this happened…

That thing went strolling into the garage while HJ and I were getting ready to have a water gun fight.  I flipped out.  I handled it horribly.  HJ learned a few new words.  And I was ridiculous throughout the whole 15 minute fiasco.  Yes, it took me 15 minutes to kill a spider.

But look at the size of that thing!  I had on flip-flops, so I couldn’t just step on it.

You might notice the ground is all wet around the spider.

Well, like I said, HJ and I were going to play with water guns, so I happened to have a bucket of water in my hand when I saw the monster creep towards the garage.

I yelled “HOLY MOTHER EFFER!” (yes, I said effer and not the “f word”..thank goodness) and threw the bucket of water on it.  Then, it started walking towards me.  This is when I took the picture so whoever found my remains would know what killed me.

I jumped and shreaked.  I told HJ to step on it.  He said, “ew, no!”

My sister had just given him a speech about how all bugs are God’s creatures, blah blah blah.  Thanks, J.

I was still not ready to stomp on it with my flip flop…they didn’t seem big enough.  So I told HJ to keep his eye on it while I ran into the garage to grab the bug killer.

I am not proud of what happened next.  But this spider was out for me.  And I am almost certain it was poisonous.

I sprayed the hell out of it with bug killer.

Then HJ and I took our water guns and sprayed him some more.

Then I watched it for a few minutes to make sure it wouldn’t move.

It had one leg in the air.  Like it was waving the white flag.  But I still didn’t trust the SOB.

I poked at it with a stick.

I was finally convinced of its death. And HJ told me good job while offering a high 5.

About an hour later, my dad stopped by and asked why there was water all over the garage.  I showed him the dead spider.  He gave me an odd look.  For the next hour, I kept bringing up the “scary spider in the garage”.  Finally, my dad went out and removed the dead spider from the garage.

I am 30, and my dad is still picking up dead spiders for me.

 

I envisioned HJ and I spending summer running around outside.  Playing until he is worn out and crashing in bed until morning.

Mother Nature decided to make it MUCH to hot for us to fulfill that dream, so I have been left to find ways to entertain my tot inside.

Doesn’t he just scream “I am bored!” in this picture?

We have spent many nights at the library and the pool.  And other nights running around the house.  A few nights back, we got bored.

I remembered seeing a thing on pinterest about microwaving a bar of soap and watching it expand.  I figured that was easy enough, and might amuse the little guy.

So, we got a bar of soap and put it in the microwave.  He watched with amazement for about oh, a minute. (it took 3).

Then he got bored.

The soap did expand, and HJ was slightly amused (just slightly, not any more than that).

And I don’t have a picture of the blown up bar of soap because…

OH MY GOD IT SMELLED SO BAD!  I grabbed it with an oven mitt and threw it in the yard.

The next day I researched on the internet and it said to use Ivory soap (but then it also said to experiment with different brands).  Maybe I used the wrong kind.  The only thing I can think of is that our soap was an anti-bacterial bar of soap.

But, my house smelled like the stupid bar of soap for 3 days.

And I know, you are thinking doesn’t that make your house smelled clean?  But no.  You know that person who wears too much perfume and it gags you?  It is sort of like that.  Too much of a good thing=uck.

Dare I say, pinterest fail?

Oh well, I guess it kept us occupied for 3 minutes.  Almost.

Sometimes, I remember.  I remember what I first felt.   And I hate myself for it.

I remember seeing the 2 lines telling me I was pregnant and swearing.  Breaking down into tears.  I remember thinking my life was over.  Nothing was going to be the same.  That I had brought shame to my family.  That everyone would judge me.

A week after, I was working at an event my company was hosting.  I was running all over making copies, doing backgrounds, filtering applicants to the right section.  Suddenly, my stomach felt like it was being torn.  I sat down for a few minutes before making up an excuse to leave.  On the way to my car, I had to stop and rest 3 times.  I finally sat in the driver seat and burst into tears.  I thought I was having a miscarriage.  And I thought it was my fault.  Suddenly, I wanted that baby more than anything.

I called the doctor’s office.  They told me there isn’t much they can do at 7 weeks along and to rest and take a bath.  I curled on the couch in the fetal position.  For 24 hours.

Finally, I started feeling better.  I hadn’t bled.  The baby was fine.  But I realized at that moment that I wanted the baby more than I ever knew.

But you know what I dislike?  That I missed out.  I never got to experience that excitement of seeing the 2 lines and being happy.  At my first baby appointment?  The doctor brought up abortion.  When I told my family?  Shock.. When I told my friends?  They all said “sorry”.

No one said congratulations.  No one jumped for joy.

I didn’t get big fast, so I actually hid my pregnancy from public view for quite a while.  I never had anyone ask me if I was pregnant until I was over 24 weeks along.  That was the first person to congratulate me right away.

I didn’t relax or indulge in yummy treats.  I worked my ass off at 2 jobs, 1 was waitressing 3 nights a week.  Anyone who has waitressed knows how much running is involved.  I was afraid of getting fat and being judged, so I didn’t cave into the cookie craving or eat ice cream.  I remember going to a restaurant one night and ordering grilled chicken and steamed veggies while my friends got pizza.  I remember the doctor telling me I needed to start gaining weight, and to take it easy.

I remember hearing my friends talking about wearing “fake wedding rings” since they could no longer wear theirs.  And wondered if that meant they were judging me.  And why it bothered them so much to have a ring.  One time, a friend caught my eye while saying that and said , “it’s just because I like wearing a ring”.  But I know that isn’t true.

I wondered what people said when I wasn’t around.  I hate being judged.

Even now, I feel guilty.  It breaks my heart when HJ talks about other people’s dads.  He hasn’t asked about his, but he is starting to get it.

I wish I could have had a fun pregnancy.  Enjoying it and savoring in my cute belly.  Loving watching it grow.  Jumping up and down when I saw those 2 lines.  Smiling as I told everyone the news.  Having a relaxing pregnancy and feeling on top of the world.

And since I didn’t, I feel guilty.  Like I took something away from my son.  Like I took something away from myself.

 

Mommy Confessions Link-Up

http://thebrowsingbrunette.com/

Sometimes, HJ gets called silly names.  The most common are lovebug, honey bunny bear and bugs.  Just so you know.

He doesn’t like being called these names in public after I slipped at daycare drop off and said “bye honey bunny bear”.  Guess what the kids called him all day?

Anyway…

Hj has become pretty funny.  He is always leaving me laughing.  I thought I would share a few of our moments with all of you

  • The other day, we were talking about friends.  I asked HJ who his best friend was (he always answers cousin E).  This day, he said “Ella”.  I asked him what happened to cousin E.  He told me, “Cousin E isn’t pretty like Ella”.  And so it begins.
  • One night at dinner, HJ was telling me what they did at daycare.  He was playing downstairs with Ella, and she was tickling his belly.  And he tooted.
  • A few months ago, Nana bumped her head on a light fixture in the house.  Every time HJ walks by the light, he hits his head and yells, “Nana, ow!”
  • HJ likes to pretend he is a dog.  He will set out food and water bowls for himself.  He will crawl around the house only speaking in “barks”.  And once, he tied himself up outside and pooped in the yard.
  • We are working on potty training.  If HJ goes potty, he gets sticker for his potty chart.  If he catches me going potty, he insists I get a sticker as well.  My potty chart is looking good.
  • He also offered great grandma a sticker.
  • The other morning HJ told me he needed to wash his hands.  I watch the dog walk over and lick his hands “clean”.  He then told the dog “thank you”.

The kid keeps me on my toes and I love it.  Not  a day goes by that he doesn’t leave me cracking up.

While trying to figure out my new budget plan, I came across an awesome blog, Coordinated Kate.  The girl seriously knows her stuff and is ridiculously organized.  Hopefully her easy ideas help me to start saving some money!  Check her out at www.coordinatedkate.com
Living paycheck-to-paycheck is brutal, but it’s reality for many people, especially in today’s economy. Putting together a budget can be very difficult. Most people don’t know where to start or even how to start. Bills are piling up and going unpaid and it’s just getting out of control! I have a few tips to get you started on the road to a budget friendly household.
1) Get yourself a planner. Doesn’t have to be anything special. Just enough for you to write down what days certain bills are due, when you get paid, and other events that may cause you to spend some money (for example: birthday parties, doctors appointments, etc.). The planner can also help you keep track of when you paid your bills. In my personal planner, I even write down the confirmation numbers that I get when I pay my bills online, just to be extra careful. I use highlighters to color coordinate and to also make it look pretty 🙂
2) Put together a monthly bill binder. Keeping track of your bills is essential! This way you know if there are any fluctuations from month to month or if you’re being overcharged or even charged for something that you’re not using. You’ll be able to see exactly where all of your “bill money” is going every month and if the need to cut back on certain things ever comes, you’ll see where you’re able to cut down.
3) Create a budget spreadsheet! This may take a little bit of time to do but it’s well worth it, trust me! Go through all of your expenses, for example: rent/mortgage, electric, water, cable, car, insurance, etc. Then go through your liabilities like your student loan, credit card debt, etc. Then make a budget for how much you’re going to spend on things like food and entertainment. And the most important part is to figure out how much you want to start saving every month. It doesn’t have to be a lot but every month you NEED to put something into a savings account or even in a shoe box. The spreadsheets will allow you to see how much you’ve put away at the end of every month and also at the end of the year!
4) STICK TO THE BUDGET!!! It will be, without a doubt, the hardest part of any of the four steps, but it’s crucial. Turn it into a game every month to see how much money you can save. Cut down where you can like with your cell phone bill for instance. Find out how many text messages you send and how much internet you use and then see if you can lower your plan to a more suitable price without the text-all-you-can package and the 502343 GB internet bundle. Join sites like www.groupon.com and get coupons for events or fun purchases. For a few months I had my entertainment budget at $100 and I wouldn’t do anything unless I had a coupon and a lot of the coupons I used came from Groupon. And check out www.coupons.com for savings on your grocery items. You don’t have to be one of those “extreme couponers” to just save a few bucks on laundry detergent or a dozen eggs.
Creating a budget is difficult, but you don’t have to always live paycheck-to-paycheck. Following the steps above will assure that you pay your monthly bills on time, hopefully have some money to put into savings at the end of every monthly, and give you peace of mind. If you have any questions please contact me at coordinatedkate1@gmail.com
__________________________

Week one on the budget was a fail.

I tried.  Really, I did.

But a few things came in to play I wasn’t expecting.  I had 3 days off work.  I left town 3 times.  This means I had to buy gas for the car.  This means I became super forgetful and had to buy things…

Seriously, I left my swimsuit at home when going boating in 100+ degree temperatures.  I found a consignment store and got a cute swimsuit for $4.82…but will probably never wear it again since it is TOO BIG.  The lady handed me safety pins at the store.

Also, I lost my phone charger.  That was an extra $28.88.  Plus the gas and food and snacks and…well, you get it.

Luckily, like I said before, there were no daycare costs last week.  Also, I sold a bunch of Harrison’s old stuff (like his cute monkey bedding), so I same out a bit ahead.

I am really planning on focusing on the budget this week (no random trips 3 days in a row!).  Also, I know for sure that I will not be getting any child support this month…guess who is unemployed?

My plan today is to attack the lovely budget sheet that the lovely Coordinated Kate sent me!  Wish me luck!

Back by popular request…

Okay, so only my sister said she liked it.  But that is also one of the only times she has mentioned this blog, so I figured I would do it for her.  Love ya, sis!

I love pinterest for finding recipes.  Especially easy ones.

Here is what I have made lately:

Chicken Caprese Sandwiches!  This is from the lovely, Iowa Girl Eats.  The only thing I did different was marinade the chicken in Sun-Dried Tomato dressing to give it a tad more flavor.  It was yummy.

Next was Grilled Peanut Butter Chicken.  I thought this was just ok.  Not great.  However, HJ ate it all up.  And even leftovers the next day.  I figure that when I want to grill chicken, I will make this one for HJ and make mine however I want it (HJ tends to not like my flavors…).  Guess that makes it a keeper!

This meal was definitely the winner.  Crock-pot Ranch Pork Chops.  This was seriously one of the easiest meals to make.  I have spent more time on mac and cheese.  All I had to do was throw in pork chops (mine were frozen), 2 cans of cream of chicken soup and a packet of dry ranch dressing.  Next time I will also throw in some potatoes and carrots.  I served it over brown rice and steamed veggies…yum…the pork chops just fell apart….I already bought the stuff to make it again.

Taco Bake.  I figured if it had a bag of Doritos crunched on top, it had to be healthy, I mean, good.  I actually made this for a friend who had a baby and brought it over to her, but I also made myself one at the same time.  I made it the day before so I could pop it in the oven when I got home from work.  Next time, I will freeze half, because although it was yummy, 4 days later when we were still eating it, I was over it.  Also, you know how taco pizza left overs just aren’t the same?  It is the same with the chips on this.

Okay, this is not a meal at all.  It is weed killer.  Don’t eat it.  Our backyard has been taken over by weeds.  Maybe the weeds were just too much for the weed killer to handle, but they didn’t die.  I few have turned slightly brown, but they are still taking over the yard.

Anyone have easy recipe recommendations?

 

Budget Overview:  I still have $20 left for the week after running all my errands!  Bonus: daycare is closed this week, so I am saving $150 on that!  Does that $150 go to credit card debt or savings?