I have never had glasses. Never need contacts. I clearly remember taking the eye test in grade school and always having ridiculously good vision…like 16/20. I could read signs WAY before anyone else…which is clearly an important skill.
Then I turned 30.
After realizing that the computer screen is always blurry and getting tension headache after tension headache at work, I threw up the white flag. I surrendered to the eye doctor.
My thoughts on the eye doctor? Remember this scene from friends?
Yup, that’s how I feel.
But I went. And sure enough, I no longer had perfect vision. Also, he dilated my eyes, which led to me looking like I was stoned while standing in line at panchero’s next to a cop, and then at a few business meetings. I don’t think I closed the deal at the meetings, and the cop was pondering arresting me.
So now I have glasses.
I remember in 7th grade when my BFF had to get glasses. She was so concerned she was going to turn into instant geek. That people would call her 4-eyes. And everyone would de-friend her (for the record, still a BFF, so I didn’t de-friend her). And she survived. And she even got braces the same year, at least I don’t have to get those again. And that was Junior High…so I can get through this right?
My parents told me they make me look smart. Apparently I look dumb without them. HJ thinks they should not be on. And calls them “TO BIG!”.
Maybe at some point I will upload a picture. But for now, I fear junior high kids calling me 4-eyes and chasing me. Let me come to terms with it first.