When is it appropriate to introduce a child to a boyfriend or girlfriend? Since becoming a single parent, I have gone on a few dates and had one relationship. When I started dating the guy I had the relationship with, I made it clear to him that I did not want him to meet HJ until I knew we were serious. I don’t want HJ to be use to men coming in and out of his life. And even though HJ is at an age where he will not remember my dating life, I still don’t feel comfortable bringing just anyone around.
I waited until B and I had been dating for close to four months before letting him and HJ meet. This meant that B would come over and hang out for an hour or so after HJ went to bed. Or we would go on a date and I wouldn’t let him come to the door. I thought I was doing the right thing. Then they meet. I slowly started including B into our life. Letting him come over before HJ was in bed, or coming over to play. That is when I noticed that B was slowly fading from me. It was obvious that my life was freaking him out.
For 4 months, he did not know me as a mom. He didn’t know what my life was actually like. He quickly realized that HJ was my number one, and he would never be. We talked about it. He apologized, I apologized. I realized I should have brought HJ into the picture before I did, before hearts were broken. That way he would have known what he was getting into right away.
So now what do I do with the next relationship? Do I let him into our lives right away? How long do I wait? How can I avoid this cycle?
Single Parents, what have you done that you think works best? Non-single parents, what would you prefer if you were in a relationship with a single parent?