For some reason in the last few weeks, many people in my life have decided to play matchmaker.  When it rains it pours!  Last Saturday night, I went on a date with a nice guy, tomorrow night I am heading out on a date with bachelor #2, and a friend wants me to go on a date with #3…but I am waiting to see what happens with the first 2…I can’t juggle too many men at once.

All these dates are not typical.  Besides this sudden influx, I went on 2 dates all year.  The main thing I have learned in the last two weeks?  I am not the person I once was.  It is obvious I have been burned before.  I lack trust.  I use to trust people until given a reason not to.  Now I won’t trust anyone until given a reason to.  I have no self-confidence.  My first thought was that they wouldn’t be attracted to me.  They won’t think I am good enough for them.  I am worried they are going to look at me and wonder why their friend set us up in the first place.  Why would they choose me over an attractive, skinny female?  Do they really want to date someone with a kid?

I don’t know why I feel this way.  I understand it sounds like a pity party, but I need to not feel like this.  I understand going into a date thinking I am not good enough is not going to make a date start off well.  I am nervous, which will make me not act like myself.  How can someone like me when I can’t like myself?

8 Thoughts on “Scars

  1. Shaunna Ulrick on December 15, 2011 at 3:49 pm said:

    You are a beautiful wonderful woman!
    I would date you! :)

  2. Ohhhh K! I just want to give you a big hug. Is it possible that you aren’t ready to date yet? My concern is, that while you, of course, are attractive, intelligent and wonderful, YOU don’t realize it. I worry that it’ll make you vulnerable to someone who might not be good enough for you.

    Just because people are setting you up, doesn’t mean you HAVE to date or feel an obligation to go. You want to be in a good place with yourself, first and foremost.

    • You are so sweet! A year ago, I was not ready to date…now I am. My issue is I no longer see my self as a sexy little thing…I just see myself as a mom. I don’t think that other people can see me in any other way, and I definitely don’t think some guy is going to look at me and think I am hot…which makes me nervous about a blind date seeing me for the first time and seeing disappointment on his face. EEKS.

  3. It is normal to feel that way once you´ve had a child and you are going thru parenthood alone. I was a single parent for the first 3 yrs ofmy oldest daughters life. I was lonely, dated a little, got burned, got depressed but at the end I must admit that something wonderful came out from all of that. I gave this guy a try and I´m happing to say that it has been 5 yrs and counting. We now have a family of 5, plus the 2 dogs, we have been thru some rough spots (really rough ones) but God has helps us made it thru.

    The moral of the story is that if I wouldnt had not been thru all the mess I probably woulddnt had not become the woman that man felt in love with. Give yourself a chance, cheer up, you are pretty and worthed and God has someone special for you and your little one. My daughter sure is glad that he came into our lives, and im sure so will your baby once the right time comes.

    Stay pretty,

    Aide

    • Thank you, your response brought tears to my eyes. It is hard to trust when you have been burned. I know that the scars have made me a better person and I love where I am in life, I just think somewhere along the way I lost self-confidence, which makes dating a scary, scary thing.

  4. I’m exactly the same way. I’m my own worst enemy! I can give my friends great advice about relationships yet I can’t stick to my words. The one thing I have learned is that you truly need to be happy with who you are, before you can love (or even like) somebody else. It’s hard when people sort of pressure you into things like going on dates with a friend, but it can also turn into a friendship or even relationship (obviously, duh me). I myself HATE going on dates. I can count on one hand how many true “dates” I’ve went on in my 24 years of existence. A couple people recently told me that if nothing else, it’s a free meal, movie, drink, ticket, what have you, and an opportunity to grow.

    • I use to always think, even if the date doesnt progress to anything, I can at least have fun while I am out. Now, I see it as taking time away form my son for no good reason. I don’t want to invest in something that is going nowhere when I could be at home coloring with HJ. Ugh. I could always get 5 cats and stay inside.

  5. Keep dating. I really hate to say this, but taking those first awkward steps will help you feel more comfortable in your own skin. You’ll gain confidence by just getting out there. Trust me. Now, you’ve been on more dates this week than I have in 6 months! Go girl. You are beautiful, so shush.

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