For some reason in the last few weeks, many people in my life have decided to play matchmaker. When it rains it pours! Last Saturday night, I went on a date with a nice guy, tomorrow night I am heading out on a date with bachelor #2, and a friend wants me to go on a date with #3…but I am waiting to see what happens with the first 2…I can’t juggle too many men at once.
All these dates are not typical. Besides this sudden influx, I went on 2 dates all year. The main thing I have learned in the last two weeks? I am not the person I once was. It is obvious I have been burned before. I lack trust. I use to trust people until given a reason not to. Now I won’t trust anyone until given a reason to. I have no self-confidence. My first thought was that they wouldn’t be attracted to me. They won’t think I am good enough for them. I am worried they are going to look at me and wonder why their friend set us up in the first place. Why would they choose me over an attractive, skinny female? Do they really want to date someone with a kid?
I don’t know why I feel this way. I understand it sounds like a pity party, but I need to not feel like this. I understand going into a date thinking I am not good enough is not going to make a date start off well. I am nervous, which will make me not act like myself. How can someone like me when I can’t like myself?