Random tid-bits for a Friday…(plus my last post was pretty much a downer, wah-wah)

When I took HJ to the doctor’s on Friday, we entered the waiting room and I immediately saw this handsome, young man.  He appeared to be maybe 2-3 years younger than me…but definitely not anymore then that.  He smiled at me.  I smiled back.  Then the nurse came and called a name.  The hottie stands up.  I start looking around for his kid…but he walks back alone and stands on the scale.  WHAT THE FRICK?  Remember that episode of friends where they find out Ross still goes to the pediatrician?  It was like that.  I hope he got a lollipop.

Also while waiting for the doctor, there was this extremely large very tan lady.  She wore extremely tight clothing.  She was sitting with her teenage son who was very scrawny and emo looking.  He also clearly had not showered in a week or so.  They were having a conversation about carving the pumpkin.  Their entire conversation was in slang and they very rarely used English in the proper form.  Then the mother said, “Oh come on, you are supposed to be my smart kid.” 

I fear for her other children if he is “the smart one”.

Once in the doctor’s office, I was told HJ would have to get an injection of steroids to help with his croup.  In walk two nurses, syringes in hand.  They pull down HJ’s pants while I hold him on the table.  Once nurse took each leg, and tears start streaming down my face.  They give him the shot and I am waiting for the scream.  Nothing.  Not even a flinch.  HJ just stared at me like I was a freak show for crying.  Then he got a sticker.  I clearly deserved it more.

This is my favorite birthday gift.  It hasn’t been delivered yet, but I am pretty excited for it.

I can not believe my baby will be 2 next Friday.  I do not think that is possible.

I have 5 friends staying at my house tonight to celebrate my 30th b-day.  I haven’t seen most of them since last December.  I also have quite a few local friends heading out too…I can’t wait..although it would be nice if I was feeling a tad better!

HJ is feeling much better, now he just has a cold…as do I.  Blah.  I hate colds.

SInce HJ and I were not feeling well, our house became a little out of control.  Here is the play room:

Wow.

Hope you all have a great weekend!

Yesterday was THE day.  I turned 30.  So far, thirty is no fun.  Early Wednesday morning HJ woke me up with this horrible seal like cough.  I instantly knew it was croup.  He has never had croup…but it is one of things that when you hear that cough, you know.  As for me, I had a cold.

First thing in the morning, I brought HJ to the doctor.  The doctor gave him 2 injections to help with his croup (I cried).  Throughout the day my cold was getting worse and worse…and to add to that, I was having terrible cramps.  My mom came and took HJ so I could go into work for a few hours.  My family had been planning on taking me out to dinner, but I was not in the mood.  Even the cupcakes my mom brought over made my stomach churn…so mine is still sitting in the kitchen.

We haven’t had much sleep the last few nights, and I still feel like crap.  I am hoping to be better by tomorrow because I have friends coming into town to go out and celebrate.  Eek.

30 to 30 update…Keep Smiling!

Day 1: Treated myself to Starbuck’s, and then treated the car behind me!

Day 2: Made dinner for a friend

Day 3: Started a book

Day 4: Attempted to make cookies, ate cookie dough.

Day 5: Night out

Day 6: Enjoyed the sun

Day 7: Cute fabric in the mail

Day 8: Bug catching

Day 9: Seed was finally laid in our yard (hopefully we have grass soon!)

Day 10: Yogurt!

Day 11: Friday night football

Day 12: Homecoming fun

Day 13: Pumpkin patch

Day 14: Nana came over to watch HJ so I could go to a work-out class

Day 15: Kindermusik! 

Day 16: Hair cut

Day 17: My friend Kristin brought her boys over for dinner.

Day 18: My sister and her kids came to town! 

Day 19: Family fun day! 

Day 20: My mom and I went to the craft show at UNI. 

Day 21: I found out I had helped a girl land a job, she was so happy!

Day 22: Went to dinner with a friend I had not talked to in a while, it was great to catch up.

Day 23: Met my mom and HJ for lunch.  HJ flirted with the waitress and was super excited about his balloon!

Day 24: Cooked dinner for a friend, and she surprised us with ice cream!

Day 25: HJ and I snuggled up and watched Marley and Me, he laughed at the dogs the whole time

Day 26: HJ had a b-day party for a friend.  It was fun watching them all run around.

Day 27: Halloween party!

Day 28: Brought in S’more cookie bars for the office, yum.

Day 29: Took some people to lunch at work

Day 30: I received BEAUTIFUL flowers at work from my lovely sister, brother-in-law and their 2 silly kids.

Alright I did it.  I gave it a shot.  Online dating.  I signed up through a program on my phone.  Filled out the whole profile crap, added a picture and turned away from my phone for about 10 minutes.  When I refreshed the screen I was IN SHOCK.  Holy hell who are all these men and why am I their favorite?  They haven’t talked to me!  Oh wait, they went me a message…”Hey great pic”  “how ru” “u lok good” and “u have kid? love kid”

Uh…what?

Then they started sending me chats…

I decided I should do my own search.  I entered the criteria and hit submit.  The screen went blank and then said “no one matches your criteria.  Try less filters.”  I tried again.  Nothing.  That can’t be a good sign if no one meets your terms.  And I know what you are thinking.  I am too damn picky.  Well let me tell ya my criteria…Male, single, 27-38, within 30 mile radius, college degree.  If that is too picky, I am screwed.

I started scrolling through the profiles with out my specified criteria.  The majority of the men were at least 50 plus.  The men in their 40’s liked to rock mullets (w.t.f.) and the 30 some guys?  They had a love affair with wearing camo.

They couldn’t spell. 

I decided to give it another few days and hopefully weed out the “bad eggs”.  I started blocking the people I received creepy messages from and pretty much ignoring the rest.  After five days I was over it.  I was getting messages from as far away as Kentucky.  Really?  You couldn’t find anyone within a 12 hour radius you liked just as much?

While deactivating my account, it asked why I was leaving.  I told them exactly what I thought.

There were a lot of creepy guys!  And wayyyy to many mullets (I didn’t know that many existed). And a lot of camo being worn.  I know I live in Iowa, but not the back woods.  Ew.  And I was asked if I was submissive when it came to relationships.  By a guy with a mullet.  Also, I think a lot of the men could benefit from looking into getting a GED, nothing spells sexy like being intelligent…or actually being able to spell sexy (that would be a good start).  I did not think it was appropriate for me to have a picture of my son and myself out there for these creeps to see.
Once my profile is deleted, will my picture be permanently deleted from the site?

Anyone ever have good luck with online dating?  As for me, I am over it.

Sorry for my vent on Monday.  But I admit, it DID make me feel a tad better.  I was on such a roll, I forgot to include my 30 to 30 list…whoops!

Anyway…

Remember on my 30 to 30 list when I showed the “happy” fabric I received in the mail (I ordered it from www.fabric.com)?  Well guess what?  I made curtains!  No-sew, happy curtains at that.

I decided my patio doors needed something light and fun, so I decided to veto the blinds.  And when you are the only one in the house who can veto things, it usually goes your way :)

I went to Target and purchased 2 white curtain panels for $10/piece.  Then I measured my happy fabric to match the width of the curtain (plus an additional inch on each side), and measured it to the height I wanted (it was just over 1/3 of the curtains height).  That’s when things got serious.  And no-sew heat hem became my friend (purchased at Wal-Mart for around $3).  I ironed the sides of the happy fabric down so it looked like it had been sewed.  Then, I laid it on the curtain and attached it with another strip of the no-sew hem.  And VIOLA!  Curtains!

I used little clippy things (yep, that is the technical term) to hang them…but forgot about that when I measured where to hang the curtain rod.

So they are a little long.  I might just remove the clippy things and actually put them on the rod.

And a close up:

I love how bright and cheery they make the kitchen feel!  I am not sure how long the no-sew hem will last (I hope it is a permanent thing!).  Also, I completely over ordered the fabric.  Not being that crafty of a person, I wasn’t sure how many yards to order, and I ordered about 5 times more than I needed…meaning you will see a few more projects out of the happy fabric!

The total project came out cheaper than what I would have spent on the curtains I found on etsy, which is the only place I could find chevron curtains.  I also decided not to do the whole curtain in the chevron fabric (I thought it might look a bit too wild for me).

Anyone else have fun projects they are working on?

 

30 to 30 update…Keep Smiling!

Day 1: Treated myself to Starbuck’s, and then treated the car behind me!

Day 2: Made dinner for a friend

Day 3: Started a book

Day 4: Attempted to make cookies, ate cookie dough.

Day 5: Night out

Day 6: Enjoyed the sun

Day 7: Cute fabric in the mail

Day 8: Bug catching

Day 9: Seed was finally laid in our yard (hopefully we have grass soon!)

Day 10: Yogurt!

Day 11: Friday night football

Day 12: Homecoming fun

Day 13: Pumpkin patch

Day 14: Nana came over to watch HJ so I could go to a work-out class

Day 15: Kindermusik! 

Day 16: Hair cut

Day 17: My friend Kristin brought her boys over for dinner.  We threw some pizza in the oven while the boys ran around.  We ate dinner (while the boys ran around) and caught up (while the boys ran around).

Day 18: My sister and her kids came to town!  HJ was soooo excited to see them.

Day 19: Family fun day!  We spent the day with my sister and her kids again as well as my parents.  I also scored big time at a garage sale on Toy Story toys

Day 20: My mom and I went to the craft show at UNI.  I got a few cute stocking stuffers!

Day 21: I found out I had helped a girl land a job, she was so happy!

Day 22: Went to dinner with a friend I had not talked to in a while, it was great to catch up.

Have any of you read the article “Single Moms are Crazy!”?  I read it (you should too). 

http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2011/10/shaming_the_single_mom_do_we_all_secretly_think_single_moms_are_.html

I will admit it, before having HJ I did not understand how a women could let herself become pregnant without meaning to.  There are so many things out there…birth control, condoms, plan B, abortions.  People don’t become parents without making that choice.

And that is true.  I was on the pill.  Once I became pregnant, I knew abortion was not an option for me.  I made the choice to bring my child into the world as a single parent.   I also knew what people would think.  That I am a slut, that I deserved it, that I was essentially ruining my child’s life.  That a child deserves both a mother and father and I was not giving them that option. 

The article even states “…that a large majority of Americans still view single motherhood as unacceptable and, in the colorful words of the poll, “bad for society.”.  Even with more and more children being born outside of marriages, the country still sees it as bad.  I think they picture the single parent to be living on welfare (taking their money), getting unemployment, sitting at home drinking and not taking care of their child.  They don’t realize that these are also college educated, professional working adults.

I remember the looks I got when I told people I was pregnant.  And the responses.  Not the squeals and cheers the rest of my friends got.  I received pity.  And the “how did this happen”…which I would eagerly respond with a sex talk…I mean really, what do you mean how did this happen?

I also get the statement “I don’t know how you do it.”  Really?  Do people expect that I will just curl up in a ball until I wither away?  No, life goes on.  I don’t know how you put up with a jerk of a husband in a loveless marriage.  I don’t know why you think raising a child in a non-loving environment is better.  I don’t know why you think your life is superior to mine and I don’t know why you think I don’t see your looks of pity.

When I meet new people or run into people I haven’t seen in a while, I introduce them to my son.  Then I get asked, “So what does your husband do?”  I let them know I am not married.  Then I watch the “oh crap” look go across their face.  Sometimes it frustrates me.  Other times it makes me laugh.

I also hate when someone’s spouse is out-of-town for a few days and they say, “guess I am being a single parent this weekend.”

Really?  You have to figure out how to pay all your bills on one income?  You have to figure out how to explain to your child why your family is different?  You have to figure out how to maintain a household, a job, a social life and child rearing all on your own?  Oh wait no, you just have 2 days of no spouse around, my bad.

When I became pregnant, I read a book on becoming a single mom.  The thing that stood out the most to me said that as a single mom, I will be judged more critically than other moms.  That any misstep I take will be taken 10 times worse than if I was married.  And, that when going out in public I should take an extra 5 minutes to throw on a nice outfit and put on some makeup. 

As much as I wanted to write the author a “screw you bitch” letter, I find myself thinking of those words often.  I feel like I do have to look presentable, have a clean house and act like the perfect mom.  And it is hard.  Heartbreaking.  Overwhelming.

There are days when I do want to curl up in that ball and wish the world away.  But there are more days where I realize how truly lucky I am to have been given such a wonderful gift, my son.

So as much as I actually do care what other people think, it doesn’t matter.  What matters is that my son is happy.

I am slowly revealing the rooms of our new house, hoping it gives me time to make them a little more presentable :).  Last week, I showed off HJ’s room…one of the cozy-est spots in the house.

Today, the much less exciting BATHROOM!

HJ’s bathroom is also the main bathroom in the house, so while I wanted it to be fun for him, I didn’t want it to scream, “KID’S BATHROOM!!!”.  So I had to take it down a notch and go against my thoughts of the cutesy shower curtains I came across.  I also love the crisp and clean look of white bathrooms.  HJ and I both agreed to paint the bathroom a grey/blue and leave everything else white.

The bathroom is a bit snug, so it was hard to get “great” pictures (sorry!).

Wow, those lights look briiight.  This is when you first walk in the door (the car is HJ’s bubble bath).

The white shower curtain is from Target.

The kid theme we did go with?  Whales!  I love whales!  HJ’s little froggy step stool is what we use to brush his teeth and wash his hands.  He is always trying to heave it over to the sink (he is quite strong enough…yet).  See that little wall indent where the stool is?  I would love to get some white shelves there.  Someday.

Here is a close up of the cute wall art from LullabyArt.  Target also had some whale items available this summer and my mom found these cute hand towels

 

And there ya have it, the whale bathroom!  Probably the most boring room in the house…whoops.  Least it can only get better!

30 to 30 update…Keep Smiling!

Day 1: Treated myself to Starbuck’s, and then treated the car behind me!

Day 2: Made dinner for a friend

Day 3: Started a book

Day 4: Attempted to make cookies, ate cookie dough.

Day 5: Night out

Day 6: Enjoyed the sun

Day 7: Cute fabric in the mail

Day 8: Bug catching

Day 9: Seed was finally laid in our yard (hopefully we have grass soon!)

Day 10: Yogurt!

Day 11: Friday night football

Day 12: Homecoming fun

Day 13: Pumpkin patch

Day 14: Nana came over to watch HJ so I could go to a work-out class

Day 15: Kindermusik!  HJ is in a music class on Tuesday nights. It is a blast to watch him run around with the other kids.  I am amazed at all the instructions he can follow (he must listen to other people more so then mom!)

Day 16: I took a half day off work…because the most wonderful hair dresser I know travelled from Des Moines to give me a cut and color.  She hacked off around 6 inches in my kitchen.  I reacted with “ohmygodwhthaveyoudoneitissofrikkenshort!”.  But secretly, it looks a little sassy…I will post pics eventually!

Holy crap I can’t believe we are almost halfway done with my list…I AM NOT READY TO BE THIRTY!!

Computers were irritating me yesterday, so I had to wait until today to post about our weekend.  And seriously, we had such a super fun weekend.  I love how much fun HJ is!

Let’s start with Thursday…

We had a minor accident

It involved learning that we could not fly off of decks.  It also involved tears from HJ and a few from SingleMama.  Luckily, it was nothing a little yogurt couldn’t fix (after I had a panicked Facebook status update and a random mother in a parking lot make me feel better).

HJ is anti-utensils.

Friday  night we met some friends at a local high school football game.

HJ thought it was oh so much fun to cheer…and clapped and shouted right with everyone else.  He also thought it was fun to run up and down the bleachers…kept me on edge!

Saturday morning began our UNI homecoming festivities!  We started at the sorority house for an Alumni event.  HJ loved flirting with all the girls (he even has a favorite) and impressing them all with his mad piano skills.  After that we went over to the Family Event.  HJ ran around collecting balloons, cookies, and all sorts of little treats.

By the time with left HJ was falling asleep on my shoulder…poor little monkey!

That night we had something major happen.

I mean, super major.

HJ asked to go potty.

AND HE WENT!  we celebrated with a sticker on his potty chart (ok, so I let him have 5 stickers).  I WAS SO EXCITED!!!

Sunday was an absolutely gorgeous day out…so we spent it at the pumpkin patch…

We went to a place in Waverly, Iowa that I recently heard about.  It was AMAZING!  They had a cute petting zoo, where we got to pet mini ponies and bunnies and hang out with a buck tooth llama.  HJ also spent quite a bit of time chasing a mama duck and her babies…until mama duck started looking a little pissed off.  We rode on pedal tractors and went down hay bale slides.  There was a pirate ship full of corn with shovels and buckets.  We went on a tractor ride and saw a haunted corn maze.  We also got to pick out pumpkins from the field

There was a little cafe that had yummy sugar cookies and apple cider so we could relax for a minute.  HJ loved every minute there (as did I).  Our weekend ended with a  family dinner at my parent’s house where HJ told his great grandma and grandpa all about his weekend!

Hope you all had a great weekend too!

 

30 to 30 update…Keep Smiling!

Day 1: Treated myself to Starbuck’s, and then treated the car behind me!

Day 2: Made dinner for a friend

Day 3: Started a book

Day 4: Attempted to make cookies, ate cookie dough.

Day 5: Night out

Day 6: Enjoyed the sun

Day 7: Cute fabric in the mail

Day 8: Bug catching

Day 9: Seed was finally laid in our yard (hopefully we have grass soon!)

Day 10: Yogurt!

Day 11: Friday night football

Day 12: Homecoming fun

Day 13: Pumpkin patch

Day 14: Nana came over to watch HJ so I could go to a work-out class

My parents have an amazing amount of crap, er…treasures in their basement.  While hunting down there the other day, I came across this:

Nice and dusty, right?  I remember it hanging in my grandparent’s house growing up (apparently my grandma inherited it from her mom or grandma).  I looked it over and decided it might not look so bad in a different color.  In fact, it might look cute in my room!  So, I sanded it down, sprayed it with primer, and then spray painted it white (I have never spray painted a thing).  Needless to say, dark spots in the wood showed through and I thought I had ruined the shelf.  I attempted to sand it down and spray it one more time, and it worked!

I decided to hang it in the corner of my bedroom, but that is when I learned that antique shelfs do not have the things on the back to hang them.  So it sat in my room for a while.  I eventually came up with a “solution” that you can’t see from far away, but up close it doesn’t look the best.

Here is the finished product:

I like that it is kind of girly

I just put things on the shelf that I already had.  The only new thing I purchased was this frame:

Notice my ghetto hook solution to hang the shelf…

The heart frame has a picture of HJ’s footprints from the day he was born (make my heart melt!).

Anyone have a better solution to hang the shelf?

 

30 to 30 update…Keep Smiling!

Day 1: Treated myself to Starbuck’s, and then treated the car behind me!

Day 2: Made dinner for a friend

Day 3: Started a book

Day 4: Attempted to make cookies, ate cookie dough.

Day 5: Night out

Day 6: Enjoyed the sun

Day 7: Received super cute fabric in the mail for my next project:

It just looks happy!

Day 8: HJ had a sick day (no, this isn’t what made me smile).  See his angry face…

Right before bed time, he was feeling a bit better, so we went outside and…

Caught a bug!!!  (EEKS, I HATE bugs!!! But, HJ loves them, so I pretend to love them too…ah, the joys of parenting!)

Look how happy it made him…

Love that little smile!!

Around the first of every month, I always log-in to the Child Support Recovery page to see how much deadbeat decided to pay for the previous month.  Like I said before, he pays enough to keep the state off his back, but not even enough to cover even a week of daycare.  When a payment isn’t marked down, I call our “case worker” to let her know.  Today she told me it had been paid on the first of the month.  Then I let her know she was looking at the wrong month…she LOVES when I point these things out to her.  She grumbled about checking into it and let me know that I shouldn’t make it my issue.

Right, because my son’s money isn’t my issue.

I recently found out that deadbeat, his girlfriend and their daughter (who is 5 months younger than HJ) moved to Las Vegas.  I have been wondering if he changed his number, so I figured today was as good as any to find out.  I called him to check on the payment.  We haven’t talked since the beginning of May.  And I called him.  This was an hour ago and I am still shaking.

I dialed his number, and he answered.  Crap.

He never answers when he knows its me.  I figured I would leave a voicemail.  But he answered.

“Hey Nate,”  I said in a wayyyyy to cheerful voice, “It’s SingleMama.  How are you?”

“Oh hey, I am actually a little sick today.”

“Um, I am sorry?.”  I was a little unsure how to respond to that.  We haven’t talked in months and now you are telling me about your cold?

He then told me that they moved to Vegas and he was still unsure if it was a good move or not.  He finally found a construction job working 20 hours a week and is hoping to find something full-time.  He asks how things are with me, and I responded with a generic, “good!”.

He then said he had a call from the Child Support Recovery office asking for his payment and informed me he mailed it last week, but would check his car to make sure he didn’t forget it…uh huh.

He went on to tell me that he was going to call to tell me they were moving, but he lost his phone.  So he was glad I called because he wasn’t sure how to get in touch with me (apparently, email was not an option).

We said good-bye and that was it.  It irritates me to no end that he never asks about HJ.  It irritates me to no end that he acts like we are old friends when we talk.  He irritates me to no end.

 

And clearly, this is needed today…

30 to 30 update…Keep Smiling!

Day 1: Treated myself to
Starbuck’s, and then treated the car behind me!

Day 2: Made dinner for a friend

Day 3: Started a book

Day 4: Attempted to make cookies, but once everything had been added but the baking soda…I realized I had no baking soda.  Blessing in disguise, I LOVE COOKIE DOUGH!  It gave me a reason to eat the cookie dough and not feel bad!

Day 5: Night out!  My parent’s volunteered to take HJ for the night so I could go out with two of my favorite people, Kristin and Trent.  We had dinner, and then went on a bar hop around Main Street.

And we had yummy espresso martinis

Day 6: Sunshine.  It was a ridiculously gorgeous day, just look!

We went over to Kristin and Trent’s to play outside.  Look at all the kiddos, frikken cute.

HJ and I had the perfect sunshine (and he got a hair-cut) kind of day!