Do any of you have that moment where you feel completely overwhelmed?  And then suddenly, one little thing makes you crack.  It is usually something ridiculous and little, but it makes you break down none the less.

I hit that point yesterday.  It was one of those mornings where I was feeling sorry for myself.  I miss my friends in Des Moines.  Sure I have friends here, but it’s not the same.  They aren’t calling to stop by whenever they drive by or asking us to do much of anything.  I was feeling lonely.  I know I just said I hate dating, but I love crushes.  I want to feel like someone likes me.  Can’t get enough of me.  And share a first kiss(don’t worry, no pregnancies for this single mama!).

I want to feel like I can take a break and rest.  And not feel always on the go.  Trying to clean the house (impossible thanks to legos), running errands, etc.

People tell me not to worry, that I am a great mom.  That might be true, but I will never be a dad.  How can a single mom possibly play both roles?

And HIM.  I hate that I think about HIM.  Wondering how he could be so cruel to his own son.

This is what was racing through my head after getting up on Sunday morning at 4:30 with a toddler ready to start his day.  We got home from getting groceries when I walked in the back door.  Laying on the floor was a bottle of laundry detergent, cracked open and spilled everywhere (on my freshly cleaned floors).  I broke.  I fell to the ground and started sobbing.  Sometimes I just can’t take anymore.

4 Thoughts on “Broken.

  1. Ugh, the proverbial straw that broke the camels’ back. Sometimes all you can do is cry. While it can be exhausting at least you feel better after it’s all over with.

  2. how are you doing today?

  3. Better:) just had a bad weekend.

  4. I’ve been there…..I remember people telling me that my son would grow up fast and I should enjoy while I can. I didn’t believe it then, but now that he is grown, (and getting married in a week) I know they were right! Still, it is tough being a single mom financially, but trust me, it is easier than arguing with a spouse over how to raise him! Anyway, it does sound like you are a great mom so keep up the good work!

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