HJ, Ty dog and myself are getting settled in the new house.  The first room I wanted to make feel finished was HJ’s.  That way he would be settled, feel at home and hopefully sleep like a champ (right…).  So here is his room:

There is his big boy truck bedding.  The bedding is by JoJo designs, and I purchased it on Beyond Bedding after scouring the internet for the best price.  I actually found the bedrail at a 2nd hand store for $5 (I love bargains!).  See the cute green night stand?  That was actually my grandma’s (which was a dark wood), then my mom’s (still dark), then it was mine (white with blue stars) and then Nana painted it green for HJ.  She painted it to match his monkey crib bedding, so I was thrilled when it matched the truck bedding too!  His lamp is from JC Penney (also purchased for the monkey room).  It was never really used in his nursery though, because he would kick and pull at it.  Clearly he is becoming so mature!

Moving on…HJ’s curtain’s came with the bedding.  His baskets of books (which is never that organized) are from Land of Nod.  Ty refused to move from the window for the picture…

I love the cute sticker decals!  Nana bought those for HJ from Target.  He loves to run his toy trucks along the roadway (which I am sure is great on the walls).  They are just stickers and easily remove!

The next corner…HJ’s dresser (from JC Penney) and changing pad (which he never actually will lay on anymore).  This is also where we threw his baskets of toys!  And finally, his super cute truck canvas pictures!  I purchased these on etsy from LullabyArt.  I actually sent the artist the link with his bedding and she made the pictures based on that!  How amazing is she?!?  HJ loves pointing out the trucks to everyone who comes in his room.

I love how HJ’s room has turned out so far, and he is so excited to show new visitors his cool truck room.

30 to 30 update…Keep Smiling!

Day One: Treated myself to Starbuck’s, and then treated the car behind me!

Day Two: Made dinner for a friend

Day 3: Started a book.

In 30 days, I turn 30.  Seriously.  How the heck did this happen?  I still feel about 24.  I still refer to my college friends as roommates, and we talk about the college days like they were last year…not 8 years ago.

Anyway…for the next 30 days, I have decided to do something each day that makes me smile.  It might be something for myself or something for another person.  Today, it was both.

I treated myself to a Cinnamon Dolce Latte, via Starbuck’s…yummm.  And then, look closely at this picture…

Nope, not at that cute little bugaboo, but the top of that red car behind us.  I got their drink too.  I felt giddy when I pulled away.  I wish I could have seen their reaction.  I wonder if they passed the favor along?  I wonder if they noticed the strange creeper pointing their camera phone at them through the back window…

So, 30 things to make me smile in 30 days.  I won’t post everyday, but will post a progress report at the bottom of my other posts.  Hopefully this will make transitioning to 30 a bit easier.

Cheers!

A few weeks ago, I travelled to Door County, Wisconsin for one of my wonderful friend’s wedding.  (HJ stayed with Nana and Papa)  It was a bit of a drive (7 hours), but holy crap was it BEAUTIFUL…

My friend, Danielle, was FINALLY marrying Matt.  I say FINALLY, because I think they were dating for about 9 years.

I got in town Friday night and checked in at the resort.  The resort had the most beautiful view overlooking Lake Michigan..and I got to sleep in.  It was AWESOME.  On Saturday morning, I ran to get coffee and rolls and headed to the bride’s room to help her get ready (I was a personal attendant after all).

We spent the morning getting ready, sipping mimosas, chit-chatting and picture-taking.  Afternoon rolled around, and the beautiful bride was ready to wed.

Seriously, how beautiful was she?!?!

The personal attendants tracked down the surprisingly calm groom (I think he may have had a drink or two) to snap a picture with him.

The ceremony was breathtaking…and short.  Like seriously short.  I think it was about 3 minutes long.

I spent more time trying to track down the judge then she spent on the ceremony.

After the ceremony, more pictures were taken….

What, don’t you always hold hands and wander around with your friends?

Cocktail hour rolled around…and I am quite certain it did not end until bed time.  Allison (the other personal attendant), had frightened the bartender into free drinks for herself and anyone with her (or as she put it…”He just really likes me”).  All of the guests had clearly put on their dancing shoes, and the dance floor was crazy all night.

Dancing shoes=no shoes for us apparently…

I had a blast dancing the night away with some of my favorite people and got to sleep in another morning!

The next morning I went to check out of the room (Allison, her husband and I were supposed to share a room, but the resort messed up on our reservation and gave us another room…so we didn’t all have to share a bed).  When I went to pay, the desk clerk told me no one had been staying in the room I was checking out of, even though I had been there 2 nights.  He also had no one  in the room they had moved Allison to.  No receipt was found for us and I was told to hand over my key and to drive safely…how awesome is that?

It was hard being away from HJ for the weekend, and I may have called Nana and Papa 83 times, but it was nice to have adult conversation!

Part of the reason I don’t sleep well is I have always had vivid dreams.  I can tell you about dreams I had when I was 4 years old (the one that sticks out most involves me climbing a tree to escape lava).  Since having HJ, I have had some strange dreams.  The ones that leave me feeling the most tired involve Nate (HJ’s dad).

Last week I had a dream that I had to go to Nate’s house to pick up a few things I had left there…a t-shirt, a curtain rod (dreams are weird, I definitely have not left anything there for a few years) and some dishes.  I had a few friends in the car with me when we pulled up to the house.  He told me to come in while he gathered the stuff.  His girlfriend was upstairs at the time, but his grandma and daughter were sitting right there.  I was playing peek-a-boo with his daughter when my eye caught something to my right.  Sitting on a shelf were pictures of HJ.  I grabbed them off the shelf and raced over to Nate.  “How did you get these and why the hell are they in your house?”  He said that they were from a friend of a friend that tracked them down.  He wanted to make sure his son was cute.  This freaked me out.  If he wanted nothing to do with HJ, then he didn’t deserve pictures.  That’s when his grandma spoke up.  She said he does want to be involved and I was going to find out tomorrow when I was served papers.

This made me fighting mad.  I told him I had never denied him anything and I would love for him to see his son.  I told him how awful it was that he was planning on surprising me with this news.  Then his girlfriend walked in.  All she said was “we should get HJ, not you.”

And I woke up.  Spitting mad.

Another one involved me trying to become friends with his gf to make him mad.  She didn’t realize who I was.

I have also had many dreams where I tell his family about HJ and get into a huge argument with Nate.

I hate how much he is in my mind, even when I sleep.  I wish I could just let go.

**Warning-There are lots of pictures in this post!!

I went a little crazy for HJ’s first birthday party.  I had it planned by August (his birthday is in November).  It all started when I saw the cutest cake toppers ever.

I instantly knew HJ’s birthday theme would be frogs and placed my order for this cute little thing:

I then started scouring etsy.  I found someone to design invitations.  And she worked with me step by step until I was 100% satisfied.

And how stinking cute is that frog hat?  I admit, it was hard to get a picture of HJ smiling with the hat on…but the picture is one of my favorites!  The hat is from another shop on etsy, the Little Knitter Boutique.

I also wanted to find a frog shirt.  Turns out, etsy has TONS.  But I fell for this one:

It was from the tinySunshine shop on etsy.

The night before the party, my sister, brother-in-law and I made food, and the morning of was spent decorating and frosting cupcakes.  everything turned out just how I was hoping and we had a blast!

Here is the cupcake table set up and ready to go:

I made HJ his own smash cake

It was the first time I had let him have sweets, and he was a HUGE fan.

I had some friends travel to come and help celebrate

We kept the kids occupied with frog coloring pages and frog cookies to frost

I decided for the big TWO to not go quite as overboard.  We definitely won’t be having as many people (there were 15 kids at his first party!  15!)  And I hopefully will not spend as much.  Of course I have picked a theme though.  It was inspired by this….

Remember last week when I was bragging about my son’s amazing artistic ability?

I totally deserved this…

Yesterday morning, while I was getting ready, HJ ran into the bathroom all excited. “LOOK MOMMY!” Covered.  Head to toe…literally, even his toes were colored.  I had to cover a laugh.  I let him know that he can only color on paper, and that body art is an unaccceptable way to start our day.  I then put him in time out.

During time out, he was having so much fun looking his arms and legs over.  I would randomly hear “OHHHH petty!”.  So, I don’t think the time out had much of a punishment feel to it as usual.  I think the worst part for him was having to get a bath to scrub off the marker.

Washable crayola does come off skin easily, but leaves red marks…it also easily washes out of clothes (just in case you were wondering).

And yes, I was a little late for work yesterday morning due to the marker incident!

Do any of you have that moment where you feel completely overwhelmed?  And then suddenly, one little thing makes you crack.  It is usually something ridiculous and little, but it makes you break down none the less.

I hit that point yesterday.  It was one of those mornings where I was feeling sorry for myself.  I miss my friends in Des Moines.  Sure I have friends here, but it’s not the same.  They aren’t calling to stop by whenever they drive by or asking us to do much of anything.  I was feeling lonely.  I know I just said I hate dating, but I love crushes.  I want to feel like someone likes me.  Can’t get enough of me.  And share a first kiss(don’t worry, no pregnancies for this single mama!).

I want to feel like I can take a break and rest.  And not feel always on the go.  Trying to clean the house (impossible thanks to legos), running errands, etc.

People tell me not to worry, that I am a great mom.  That might be true, but I will never be a dad.  How can a single mom possibly play both roles?

And HIM.  I hate that I think about HIM.  Wondering how he could be so cruel to his own son.

This is what was racing through my head after getting up on Sunday morning at 4:30 with a toddler ready to start his day.  We got home from getting groceries when I walked in the back door.  Laying on the floor was a bottle of laundry detergent, cracked open and spilled everywhere (on my freshly cleaned floors).  I broke.  I fell to the ground and started sobbing.  Sometimes I just can’t take anymore.

My son is an amazing artist.  His artwork covers the fridge, hangs in frames and is even scattered around the floor.  Clearly I needed a better system to display his masterpieces.  Something that I could easily switch around on a weekly basis.

I am not sure where I came up with this idea, but I must have seen it somewhere.  I don’t think I am creative enough to think of it on my own.  Here is what the solution was:

It is 2 pieces of thin wood (no clue what it is supposed to be used for…maybe trim??) that I strolled by at Hobby Lobby.  I painted it with the left over paint from the table and then painted clothes pins that I had from a baby shower.  I super glued those onto the boards and then screwed them into the wall (well, my dad did that part, power tools scare the bejesus out of me).

And TADA!  Art hangy wall things (yup, that is what I am calling them).

I think they look decent…looks like HJ needs to get coloring though!

In case you are wondering what he is doing in the picture…

He is trying to ride a fire truck up a slide.  Safety first in our household!

 

I like to think I am a happy person.  I have fun.  Love playing with my little man.  But I have a serious dislike.

DATING.

Before dating HJ’s father, I loved going on dates.  Heading out to a nice dinner and drinks, being wined and dined, getting dressed up and even putting on make up (GASP!).  I was always dating, never anyone too seriously, just having fun.  I went out with all types (I wasn’t even too picky).  Figured I would give everyone a shot, and heck, a girl has to eat, right?  From a doctor, a teacher,  a lawyer, the penis enlargement sales man (seriously…), an architect, and the hot bartender (yeah, this list could go on and on).  Then I met HJ’s father (I really hate calling him that since he was not ever done anything fatherly).  I fell hard.  I don’t know why.  He didn’t seem so bad, but his friends were trash.  My friends didn’t like hanging out with them.  But for some reason, I loved it.

The next guy I dated was when HJ was almost 1.  He seemed amazing.  Everything I wanted…except, I wasn’t everything he wanted.  I had a kid.

Which brings me to now.  Dating sucks.  It isn’t fun anymore.  I don’t want to waste my time going out with some random guy if I don’t think there is potential there.  I don’t want to play games anymore.  And I definitely wouldn’t waste my time on anyone who I can’t see as a great role model for my son.

It makes so I don’t want to date. I am too picky.  I feel like no one would want to date me because I am a single mom.  I am not looking for pity, this is just honestly how I feel.

I need sleep.

I LOVE sleep.

My little boy?  Not so much.  I swear the kid only needs about 3 hours of sleep a night…seriously.  You know those people who post on facebook, “My sweet baby slept 8 full hours!  Oh I love them soverymuch!”.  I despite them.  And contemplate de-friending them.

After 3 nights this week of no sleep, I am at my wit’s end.  Seriously, he woke up at 1am today.  I have been doing some online research.  The first thing that shocks and worries me is this little chart

Age Nighttime Sleep Daytime Sleep * Total Sleep
1 month 8 8 (inconsistent) 16
3 months 10 5 (3) 15
6 months 11 3 1/4 (2) 14 1/4
9 months 11 3 (2) 14
12 months 11 1/4 2 1/2 (2) 13 3/4
18 months 11 1/4 2 1/4 (1) 13 1/2
2 years 11 2 (1) 13
3 years 10 1/2 1 1/2 (1) 12
*Note: number of naps in parentheses

 

found at http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-much-sleep-does-your-child-need_7645.bc.  That tells me HJ needs between 13-13.5 hours of sleep a day.  Yesterday, he maybe got around 7.  He doesn’t think naps are necessary.  And he doesn’t fall for the cry it out method.  I have even tried all of the researchers theories, like these:

http://www.babycenter.com/0_child-wont-stay-asleep-1-to-2-years_3660.bc

Nothing works.  I need advice.  And sleep.  Please send both my way.

love,

Sleep Deprived Single Mama (and Ty…the dog is getting annoyed too)