Look at me, blogging on the weekend…crazy, huh?

Moving day is almost here!  I FINALLY CLOSE next week on our brand new house!  The past few days have been hectic with moving, packing and…staying with my parents.  HJ, Ty and I will be at my parents until Tuesday, so keep us in your thoughts!

I took a few pictures when I went through the house the other day and thought I would share them with you all before it is bombarded with all of my stuff and HJ’s toys.

I apparently forgot to take an updated pic of the outside…but this is sort of what it looks like, just with more siding!  It is a duplex, so that is why you see 2 front doors.

This is the kitchen, sans appliances.  Which by the way, will not be in for quite some time since the appliance store I purchased them from is not very good at customer service.  Hopefully I will be appliance free for less than a week or two, but considering I ordered them almost 2 months ago, that is not very quick!

This is the other side of the kitchen that leads out to the deck (can not wait for the deck!).

From the kitchen, looking into the living room.  I love the open-ness of it!

Closer view of the living room..I had it painted a gray, but it looks a tad blue-y to me.  What do you think?

Is it blue-ish??

Main/HJ’s bathroom.  I am so excited to have MY OWN bathroom!

This room will eventually be the guest room..but all I have as far as furniture goes is an air mattress.  So, more realistically, it is a play room…we have plenty of toys to go around.

And, HJ’s soon to be TRUCK ROOM.

Can’t you see the excitement on his face?

And here’s my room!

I will be sure to post more pics as we begin decorating, but for now we will be living out of a suitcase!

Have a great weeekend!

It was bound to happen soon.  The public temper tantrum.  I can hardly blame the kid for a few reasons….we are in the process of moving so both of our lives are a bit hectic…and the store was taunting my child.

I know, I know what you’re thinking, “the store was taunting him, really?”.  But I should tell you, my son is obsessed with cars and trucks.  OBSESSED.  I mean, he brought his own toy truck into Target that day and showed it to everyone while saying “TUC!” (that is how he says truck).

I went to the back of the store to grab diapers.  HJ got very excited pointing to a sippy cup and shouting “CAR!!” (from the Pixar movie)

I told him, yes, good job, that is a car.  But then the next aisle had lots of cars (I am blaming Pixar for this).  HJ was getting restless and excited.  Then I go the bath aisle.  And did you know the Cars movie is selling EVERY TYPE OF PRODUCT IMAGINABLE?!?!   This is where chaos ensued.  HJ Threw himself out of the cart and started running around screaming CAR CAR CAR!!!  The next aisle had CAR pillows that he threw onto the floor while shouting at me.  While I picked those up and said something along the lines of  “No no my precious child”, I looked over just in time to see him pick up a CAR piggy bank and get ready to slam it down onto the ground.  By this time, he is screaming and I am frazzled.  I tell him we are leaving and begin to walk away.  I make it part way down the aisle when HJ yells, “NO!” and then grabs a hold of my knit skirt and runs away.  Pulling my skirt down.  At Target.  On a busy Sunday.  Exposing my underwear covered booty to the store.  A family walked by me looking horrifed…I am hoping it was because of my screaming child and not because I was standing there in my underwear…but I think it was the underwear.

Anyone else have embarrassing tantrum stories?  Please. please tell me I am not alone.

We had met with the lawyer.  We had signed the custody agreement.  The only thing left was agreeing on a child support amount.

Sounds easy, right?

Well, when one person refuses to be a parent and wants no part of a child’s life, they tend to balk at the idea of supporting them in any way.  This led to an intense phone conversation where I was screamed at.  This was the first time Nate had yelled at me.  He always stayed calm in a way that irritated me.  But not this day.  He told me I was nothing more than a selfish bitch who wanted his money for myself.  I was trying to ruin everything he had built for himself for my own gain.  Right.  I am the selfish one. 

I had no response.  I let him get it all out.

We finally started talking money.  The lawyer had told me what I would get for support if the case went to court, so he reluctantly agreed to that amount.  He went to the lawyers the next morning to sign the paperwork, and I went a few hours later.

I never saw him after the first two meetings at the lawyers.  He has never asked to see his son, not even a picture.  We talk every now and then.  Every time it is me calling him from a random number (he won’t answer my calls) to ask if he is going to pay child support.  He usually follows up with a comment on how I have ruined his life.  He has figured out the State of Iowa won’t do anything as long as he pays SOMETHING each month.  So he usually goes in and makes a $100 or so payment…never the full amount (he owns his own company, so they don’t do income withholding).  And since he does make that small of a  payment, the State stays off of him and refuses to do anything to help me.  I could get a lawyer, but that would cost too much.  And according to the lawyer, would be pointless…a judge would assign him a payment plan where he could basically do the same thing.

I recently found out Nate is moving out of Iowa, which means even the small amount I do get now will likely disappear.  I never understood how frustrating of a process child support was.  I could never figure out why people didn’t get it and how dead beats could get away with things.  But now I get it.  It is disturbing the way a single mom is treated when she calls for help.  It is frustrating that they don’t do more to get the money.  He can talk about selling his boat and motorcycles and spending the cash to take his girlfriend on vacation, but he can’t fulfill his child support.  Sickening.

I wish there was more I could do to address the state, but it seems there are always rules and regulations that make it so that doesn’t happen.  Does anyone else have similar experiences?

Last week, my baby decided he was no longer a baby.  He is now a little boy (tear!).  Sunday night is when it started.  He REFUSED to get in his crib.  Any time I would get near the crib he would have a melt down.  And if I tried the “cry it out” method, he would just climb right on out and start sprinting through the house yelling, “Mom?  Mom?  Mama? MOMMY!!”.  This went on from his 8pm bedtime until I broke down at 1:30am.  I pulled him into bed with me.  HJ slept like…a baby.  I did not.  I tossed and turned, unable to get to sleep.

The next day at work, a few people mentioned letting him sleep in a “big boy bed”.  After my night of no sleep, I figured it was worth a shot.  So, Monday night I tried to put him in his crib for 20 minutes.  Then I pulled the mattress to the floor…and wouldn’t ya know the little monkey slept the rest of the night.  The next day I went to retrieve his twin bed mattress from my parents house and officially set up his “big boy bed”.

HJ has never been a great sleeper.  But ever since I put the twin mattress in his room, he has slept the ENTIRE NIGHT.  What the heck?!?!  I apparently should have started the twin bed when he hit the 6 month mark.

 

HJ in his BIG BOY BED!

I purchased his new bedding (I shudder at the thought of how much I spent on his room that he used for 1.5 years), and will put it up in his new room, here’s a sneak peek:

 

I also sent a picture of his bedding to an etsy store I love, LullabyArt, and look what she made!!

 

How cute are those??

So the big boy bed was a success.  By Tuesday, HJ decided the high chair was for babies as well…and he refuses to sit in it.  That is a whole lot of changes for this mama.

HJ and I have been busy little bees getting ready for the move.  We move in ONE WEEK!  Holy cow.  Hopefully the temperatures start to go below 100 degrees, or moving will not be fun.

HJ LOVES his dog, Ty.  I don’t know if the feeling is mutual, but at least Ty puts up with him.  HJ is known to use Ty as a chair…

Ty is also commonly used as a ride and sometimes a place to rest when HJ is tired.

And Ty is constantly given lots of hugs and kisses.

I am glad I have such a laid back dog that puts up with all this love, but sometimes I tell him it is okay to walk away.  Ty knows he can go hide in my room to get away, but rarely does.  I think deep down he really likes the lil’ guy.

It’s true.  I did.

Yesterday, I was minding my own business in the shower, washing my hair, when I felt something go by me and CLUNK to the ground.  I cautiously opened one eye to peer at what had happened and I see this:

BATMAN.

I then hear a giggle.  I look to my right and see this big cheesy grin:

 HJ apparently felt it necessary to bring every toy he could gather into our super small bathroom while I showered.  Notice all the cars, books…and a wagon full of legos.

I also had an extremely productive day of packing the house for our big move.  I really strained myself.  I might have even pulled a hammy.  This is what I accomplished:

yup, that is one diaper box filled with photo albums.  I might still have a lot of work to do.  UGH.

The day had come that I had been dreading. Meeting with HJ’s dad at the lawyer’s office. This would put us face to face for the first time since I was about 10 weeks pregnant. All these thoughts were running through my head of what I should say, how I should act and how to stay strong. And of course, how to look damn good (what? Don’t judge me). I wanted to be portrayed as a strong, confident single mom who was going to kick his ass in court.

I met with the lawyer before hand to make sure we were on the same page. We had drawn up an order that indicated back owed support, medical support, child support and custody. The lawyer told me that if Nate realized how bad I wanted full custody he could fight me on it despite not wanting anything to do with HJ, just go get me to lower the amount. And let me know that a judge would more than likely not grant someone full custody if both parties ask to be involved. I let him know I understood. I had decided I would be as sweet as could be until I got what I wanted.

Then Nate walked in. Tears sprung to my eyes, but I held them back. He looked at me. He appeared nervous too. He also had clearly put on a few pounds (which delighted me) and was dressed like a scrub (having come from working on a construction site…he owns a business).

The lawyer asked if he had already looked over the order. Nate said yes. The lawyer quickly read through it again, asked if there were any questions and then said “Alright lets sign this.”

 Nate grabbed for a pen. Holy crap, was it really going to be this easy? I held my breath. Then he looked at me. “I can’t afford this.” “Well, what do you want me to do? “ “Can we talk about this?” He asked.

The lawyer said he would give us a few minutes and walked out. We sat there in silence. I kept repeating to myself to stay calm, to not cry and to be as nice as I could. He finally spoke. “I need to take this home to look over it some more.”

 This worried me. I just wanted the custody part signed. But I also knew he hadn’t told anyone about HJ, so I knew he wouldn’t discuss it with anyone and figure out what it was I was actually after…full custody.

We told the lawyer what was going on and Nate left. Didn’t seem that awful, I guess. He walked out and the lawyer said “God he is a punk.”

I laughed. I really wasn’t sure what I had seen in him. He looked awful.

 I then asked the lawyer if it would be possible to get him to sign the custody portion first, since that seemed to be the one part we agreed on. That way I would feel more confident in asking for the money I deserved, knowing I already had the most important part signed off on. The lawyer said we could do that and I called Nate to let him know the new plan. We scheduled a meeting the following week to sign the custody agreement.

The next week, we both showed up at the same time and sat in the waiting room together while the lawyer gathered everything. “So, you are ok with signing away full custody?” I asked.

“Gladly.” He said.

He then mentioned that his girlfriend had the baby the day before. His daughter was two days old and he was signing away custody on his son. His girlfriend and daughter were still in the hospital and he was with me at the lawyer’s.

The lawyer pulled us into a conference room and went over the paperwork. He said that we would still have to work out payment amounts, and this just covered custody. It stated Nate had no visitation rights, and I was to be granted sole custody of HJ. Nate didn’t hesitate. He signed on the line. It was notarized, copies were made and it was done. Just like that. He didn’t think twice about giving up his son. I was extremely happy, that is what I wanted after all. But extremely heartbroken. He gave up his son. He didn’t even care at all. He never asked me how he was, what he looked like or anything. He didn’t care that HJ has his eyes or his scowl when concentrating. He just wanted to get rid of him.